So in my preparations so far for heading to Germany, I have discovered one thing: I am not a light packer. It seems like the last time I had to pack up all of my things for a year away, it was a bit easier.

In the process of trying to pack things for every circumstance, I think that I’ve forgotten my own best advice: I will inevitably forget something and that, in and of itself is part of the process. Forgetting and not being prepared and learning from the things that you forget are not a downfall, but an opportunity to learn something more. And that brings in a myriad of examples of things that I learned whilst I was previously studying abroad and things that I hope to continue to learn when I arrive in Germany.

I like to think of a quote from Rainer Maria Rilke’s novel The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge:

To what end should I say that I am changing? If I change, I do not stay the person that I was, and am something different than I have ever been. It is clear that I don’t have any acquaintances. And I can not possibly write to strangers.

What I like about this quote is although the character sees himself as a something that is constantly changing and how the changes in himself  relate to other people. He still refers to himself as the abstract “I” and, although this is the grammatically correct way of referring to oneself, the linguistic consistency that it provides asserts a continuity between the present narrator and the person that he expects to become. And it is that consistency is why it is important to be reflective when studying abroad. Not because you will change, but because these changes interact with the people and places that you already know and have helped to shape the perspective through which you see the new ones.

So as I am preparing to make a major change in my life, I think of not only the changes that I want to see in myself, but the connections of past influences have had on my life and how they have shaped my decisions up to this point.  This is basically a long-winded way of saying that I know that this year, although in a country that I have previously lived in, is still going to be a challenge, but perhaps in ways that I cannot predict or know.

And I’m most definitely looking forward to learning everything I can- regardless of what ends up in my suitcase.