Is FLOW Only for Water? April 15, 2009
Posted by jhicks in : Portfolio, CORE Love paper, Style, Uncategorized , add a comment“Can you help me make this FLOW better?”
“I’d like you to check for FLOW.”
“Maybe this doesn’t FLOW right.”
Though you might not be able to define FLOW in writing, you know when you have it and when you don’t!
Many qualities contribute to text FLOW; here are some editing steps you can apply that may help you capture that elusive quality.
COHERENCE
Read aloud. Though this reminds you of junior high, it’s the best editing trick around. Underline sentences or parts that don’t “sound right” and check out their insides. These two examples will give you the idea.
Example: Colleges are making tuition more affordable with scholarships and having scholarships and campus jobs. [Notice how the phrases are constructed differently. They are not similar in grammatical structure or consistent in point of view, which wrecks the flow.]
Improved: Colleges are making tuition more affordable by offering scholarships and campus jobs.
Example: For companies who want to increase market share, they must advertise to their target group. [The word “for” throws off the sentence. Begin with “companies” and omit “they.”]
Wordy or illogical constructions can clog a sentence’s flow: The reason is because . . .Pneumonia is when
Omit because and when in this type of construction.
COHESION–You’ll feel “flow” when ideas move from old-to-new:
Move from familiar to unfamiliar ideas. Notice this movement in the following sentences:
The native language of nearly 1 million people is American Sign Language (ASL) [new idea]. Unlike a common misperception, ASL [old idea] is not English in signed form [new idea]. Signed English [old idea] involves signing individual characterisitics of an English sentence, whereas an ASL signer uses physical space occupied and facial expression in a communication exchange [new idea]. ASL [old idea] can be described as “pictorial/visual and three dimensional while English is audible and linear” (Schmidt, Bunse, Dalton, et al 7).
PUNCTUATION also assists with “flow” because these minute marks signal a change in tone, expression, or tempo that you would hear or see in a conversation. On paper, these signals tell your brain what to expect next.
Check out the blog category of “editing” to brush up on conventions of punctuation.
Schmidt, Katherine, et al. “Lessening the Divide: Strategies for Promoting Effective Communication between Hearing Consultants and Deaf Student-writers.” The Writing Lab Newsletter, 33.5 (2009): 6-10.
Love in Context January 15, 2009
Posted by egutierrez in : CORE Love paper, Essay Planning, CORE, Uncategorized , comments closedAs CORE students you’re probably either writing, making revisions, or finalizing your paper on love. Remember that this paper, like the first paper you wrote in CORE last semester, is a personal narrative and a reflection about a particular theme in action, in this case love.
Think carefully about a particular time in your life or a particular relationship you’ve had that dealt intimately with love in one of its many forms, such as philia or agape. Although your professor would like you to think about other forms of love besides romantic love, you might try looking at some of these relationships for interactions between these other forms of love as well.
Interesting stories usually have some element of personal transformation or triumph over adversity, so try thinking about a time that either you or someone you know experienced a kind of profound transformation or perseverance. Analyze this situation in terms of love: What forms of love are at play? Did love have any effect on the outcome in question? What were these effects? Could you or that person have transformed or triumphed without love? If you know of a story like this, tell it!
What makes this paper so useful and so timely is that it allows you to explore the various dynamics and nuances of love without many constraints. Take this opportunity to explore your own experiences and views of love in the context of your life, and don’t be afraid to venture out and make novel claims about it (so long as you back it up with evidence). This paper helps make what was previously a more abstract study of love more concrete by applying it to your own life and your own unique experiences. Explore, and have fun with it!
EG
The Blue Light Show, Episode 6 December 11, 2008
Posted by willmeister in : CORE, MP3s , comments closedWell, at long last, here it is. This episode does not follow the style of the others, but is rather a series of excerpts from a lecture given at the Brauer Museum, covering a broad variety of paintings that follow the theme of Citizenship, presented to Cynthia Rutz’s CORE class.
BLS_Episode_6.1: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download BLS_Episode_6.2: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadAs always, if you want to save this file, right-click the download link and select “Save Link As” (or the equivalent for your browser).
Blue Light Show Episode 5–A Long Way Gone Discussion October 22, 2008
Posted by willmeister in : Core paper #3, CORE, MP3s , add a commentThis mp3 episode of the Blue Light Show is devoted to A Long Way Gone. Three CORE students discuss ideas relevant to paper #3.
Is the book more about war or enlightenment? Why do the boys join the army? How does enlightenment occur, and what the responsibilities of the enlightened? Can family be replaced? Why is music so prominent in the text–How does it become a metaphor?
Ali McLaughlin, John Moldenhauer, and Philip Feldwisch, as well as moderator William Milhans provide serious talk about a thought-provoking text.
If you would like to save the file, please simply right-click on the ‘download’ link, and selected ‘Save Link Location As’, or the equivalent.
Peer editing and Simone Weil: CORE Students Ponder and Vent! October 22, 2008
Posted by jhicks in : Core paper #3, CORE, MP3s , comments closedTHE BLUE LIGHT SHOW: episode 2
How is peer editing going for you? Will your struggles with paper #3 stand as evidence that Simone Weil may be right?
In this 5-minute pod cast students from a CORE class explain how to set up a good peer editing group and also ponder Weil.
THE BLUE LIGHT SHOW, EPISODE 2: CORE class chats about peer editing and Simone Weil: Play Now | Play in Popup | DownloadQuotes Should be Working for You October 16, 2008
Posted by jhicks in : CORE Love paper, CORE paper#2, Quoting, Citation & bibliography, CORE , comments closedA quote is a powerful enforcer in your writing. The direct quote should underscore and clarify a point you have written about; it should not be doing the explaining for you. So, always summarize a quote before or after you use it. (Otherwise, you readers may think you don’t understand the quote or how it applies.)
Secondly, impress the reader with the authority of the quote. In your sentences tell something about the source–maybe the source is a well-known person like former president Jimmy Carter, or has an impressive title like Surgeon General, or perhaps the name of the article is the most impressive like “Annual Energy Outlook 2007″ from the US government Energy Information Administration. No one cares about the actual author, in this case. The title is the convincing part.
You’re probably thinking, what about the citation and bibliography? Isn’t all that information there? Yes, but your text is convincing if you show that you were able to interpret the significance of the sources, not just stick a few ideas together with some quotes. Your role as writer is to digest and interpret for the reader, not just find. And, anything you put in the text, you can omit from the parenthetical citation–in MLA or APA.
For examples, see this short how-to from us: How to Use Quotes, Paraphrases, and Summaries Effectively
Making the Most of Your Sentences October 2, 2008
Posted by arussell in : CORE Love paper, Style , comments closedOnce you have a strong idea for your paper, think about the way you are presenting that idea. Do your sentence patterns convey the ideas by their very arrangement? Sentence patterns can
- covey cause and effect, sequence, or time
- build suspense or make an idea pop out
- give variety to a paragraph; make your writing more sophisticated
To sound more interesting and sophisticated, mix up the types of sentences you are using. Don’t use all simple sentences or all compound or complex sentences. Placing short sentences between longer ones give the shorter sentences a punch–they stand out more.
Here are some other sentence types to consider:
A loose sentence is the type of sentence that is most common. At the beginning of the sentence is the main idea (subject and verb) and then all the other less important information follows. For example: I left the restaurant feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach as all my surroundings swirled before my eyes. In this case the subject (I) and the verb (left) are at the beginning of the sentence.
A periodic sentence is not as common and must be used with care. With this type, there is a build-up to the main idea. For example: Looking at the rose, at its soft petals and thin folds, I saw beauty. Here, the main idea (I saw beauty) is at the end of the sentence and all the other details lead up to this idea. If used sparingly, this sentence style makes an idea have real snap. The subject and verb really stand out at the end.
To express cause and effect:
Use a complex sentence beginning with since or because: Because of the reduction in anticipated dividends, many employees delayed their retirement.
(Same idea expressed with a compound sentence does not express cause and effect clearly: Employees anticipated reduced dividends, and they decided to delay their retirement.)
To express sequence or simultaneous events:
Use a complex sentence beginning with while, whenever, before, as, or a similar word: While the stock market dropped, employees
Blue Light Show episode 4 September 25, 2008
Posted by willmeister in : CORE paper#2, CORE, MP3s, Uncategorized , add a commentWilliam teams up with John Moldenhauer to ponder Doris Lessing’s story, “Debbie and Julie.” Will’s free-wheeling discussion style unearths treasures and trash, as the two guy-talk about this intriguing story.
Has Julie really matured from her experience? Did her parents figure out about her pregnancy? Can we read this as a narrative of Luke . . .with a female born?
Looking for some final touches for your CORE paper #2? This short discussion provides food for thought.
To play, click the gray slide; to copy, right click on “download” and select “Save Link As.”
The Very Quick Guide to Organizing your Paper September 12, 2008
Posted by jhicks in : Essay Planning, Content, International Students, CORE , add a commentMany students organize papers in a deductive organization. This means the first paragraph has a clear statement of the thesis, including its major premise and significance. The rest of the paper presents paragraphs of evidence. A good thesis sentence has a key phrase that can be used throughout the essay.
Ideally, many paragraphs begin with a sentence that sums up the major point of the paragraph. The topic sentence will use key phrases from the thesis sentence.
The conclusion will further discuss the significance of the thesis. The conclusion might make a prediction related to the thesis, suggest ideas for further analysis at another time, or add one more thought-provoking point related to the thesis.
Blue Light Show Episode Two September 9, 2008
Posted by willmeister in : CORE paper#2, CORE, MP3s , add a commentIn this episode of the the BLUE LIGHT SHOW, William and Kayla tackle “Corn Mother.” On this smoke-free campus, what do they make of tobacco being a “gift”? William ponders how the Penobscot deities differ from the Greek gods and superheroes. Kayla knocks William for a Harry Potter reference.To play, click the gray slide; to copy, right click on “download” and select “Save Link As.”