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Quotes Should be Working for You August 26, 2009

Posted by jhicks in : CORE, Citation & bibliography, Education Unit, Love Unit, Quoting , comments closed

A quote is a powerful enforcer in your writing. The direct quote should underscore and clarify a point you have written about; it should not be doing the explaining for you. So, always summarize a quote before or after you use it. (Otherwise, you readers may think you don’t understand the quote or how it applies.)

Secondly, impress the reader with the authority of the quote. In your sentences tell something about the source–maybe the source is a well-known person like former president Jimmy Carter, or has an impressive title like Surgeon General, or perhaps the name of the article is the most impressive like “Annual Energy Outlook 2007″ from the US government Energy Information Administration. No one cares about the actual author, in this case. The title is the convincing part.

You’re probably thinking, what about the citation and bibliography? Isn’t all that information there? Yes, but your text is convincing if you show that you were able to interpret the significance of the sources, not just stick a few ideas together with some quotes. Your role as writer is to digest and interpret for the reader, not just find. And, anything you put in the text, you can omit from the parenthetical citation–in MLA or APA.

For examples, see this short how-to from us: How to Use Quotes, Paraphrases, and Summaries Effectively

Show More, Tell Less . . .Revising Narrative August 25, 2009

Posted by jhicks in : CORE, Editing, Handouts, Love Unit, Style , comments closed

How many times have you heard this writing advice: Show us, don’t tell us. Readers prefer action over narrative so they can picture events as they may have happened. But how do you carry out this advice? You have already used adjectives and adverbs and told what happened . . .but this still may be telling, not showing.

With a few additions, you can easily revamp a passage to show.

(1) Add dialog: Let people talk to show their feelings and motives.
(2) Add movement: Let people move around to show what’s happening and what they’re thinking. You can imply many complex ideas with through people’s actions.
(3) Add examples that show: Give readers more than one example. In fact, this might be where you can add the dialog and action.
(4) Replace “is/are” verbs with verbs that show action: grabbed, argued, flung, considered, extolled, worried, announced, etc.

Compare these two paragraphs in this pdf–These examples will show you the idea, rather than our just telling you the steps! how-to-show-more-tell-less.pdf

CORE tip: Apply these techniques to revisions of your creation narrative paper. Maybe showing more will bring it to life.

Is FLOW Only for Water? April 15, 2009

Posted by jhicks in : Love Unit, Portfolio, Style, Uncategorized , add a comment

“Can you help me make this FLOW better?”

“I’d like you to check for FLOW.”

 “Maybe this doesn’t FLOW right.”

Though you might not be able to define FLOW in writing, you know when you have it and when you don’t!

Many qualities contribute to text FLOW; here are some editing steps you can apply that may help you capture that elusive quality.

COHERENCE

Read aloud. Though this reminds you of junior high, it’s the best editing trick around. Underline sentences or parts that don’t “sound right” and check out their insides. These two examples will give you the idea.

Example: Colleges are making tuition more affordable with scholarships and having  scholarships and campus jobs.  [Notice how the phrases are constructed differently. They are not similar in grammatical structure or consistent in point of view, which wrecks the flow.]
Improved: Colleges are making tuition more affordable by offering scholarships and campus jobs.
Example: For companies who want to increase market share, they must advertise to their target group. [The word "for" throws off the sentence. Begin with "companies" and omit "they."]

Wordy or illogical constructions can clog a sentence’s flow: The reason is because . . .Pneumonia is when

Omit because and when in this type of construction.

COHESION–You’ll feel “flow” when ideas move from old-to-new:
Move from familiar to unfamiliar ideas. Notice this movement in the following sentences:

The native language of nearly 1 million people is American Sign Language (ASL) [new idea]. Unlike a common misperception, ASL [old idea] is not English in signed form [new idea]. Signed English [old idea] involves signing individual characterisitics of an English sentence, whereas an ASL signer uses physical space occupied and facial expression in a communication exchange [new idea].  ASL [old idea] can be described as “pictorial/visual and three dimensional while English is audible and linear” (Schmidt, Bunse, Dalton, et al 7).
PUNCTUATION also assists with “flow” because these minute marks signal a change in tone, expression, or tempo that you would hear or see in a conversation. On paper, these signals tell your brain what to expect next.

Check out the blog category of “editing” to brush up on conventions of punctuation.

Schmidt, Katherine, et al. “Lessening the Divide: Strategies for Promoting Effective Communication between Hearing Consultants and Deaf Student-writers.” The Writing Lab Newsletter,  33.5 (2009): 6-10.

Making the Most of Your Sentences October 2, 2008

Posted by arussell in : Love Unit, Style , comments closed

Once you have a strong idea for your paper, think about the way you are presenting that idea. Do your sentence patterns convey the ideas by their very arrangement? Sentence patterns can

To sound more interesting and sophisticated, mix up the types of sentences you are using. Don’t use all simple sentences or all compound or complex sentences. Placing short sentences between longer ones give the shorter sentences a punch–they stand out more.

Here are some other sentence types to consider:
A loose sentence is the type of sentence that is most common. At the beginning of the sentence is the main idea (subject and verb) and then all the other less important information follows. For example: I left the restaurant feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach as all my surroundings swirled before my eyes. In this case the subject (I) and the verb (left) are at the beginning of the sentence.

A periodic sentence is not as common and must be used with care. With this type, there is a build-up to the main idea. For example: Looking at the rose, at its soft petals and thin folds, I saw beauty. Here, the main idea (I saw beauty) is at the end of the sentence and all the other details lead up to this idea. If used sparingly, this sentence style makes an idea have real snap. The subject and verb really stand out at the end.

To express cause and effect:

Use a complex sentence beginning with since or because: Because of the reduction in anticipated dividends, many employees delayed their retirement.

(Same idea expressed with a compound sentence does not express cause and effect clearly: Employees anticipated reduced dividends, and they decided to delay their retirement.)

To express sequence or simultaneous events:
Use a complex sentence beginning with while, whenever, before, as, or a similar word: While the stock market dropped, employees

In my opinion, I think . . . September 19, 2007

Posted by jhicks in : Love Unit, Style , add a comment

Is it OK to use “I” in my writing? Many profs will suggest eliminating “I” (first person) from your formal writing. Simply make a statement–readers will know it’s from you. However, the assignment itself, the topic, and the purpose will usually give you a sense whether this personal reference works well in the writing.

Tip: When having trouble with a draft, try writing “I think that . . .” often to help you decide what you want to say. Later you can eliminate this construction by using the second part of the sentence.