Introduction (1) If you used the “funnel” or “pyramid” method, check to see if you began with generalizations that are very far from your actual topic. Try cutting the first two sentences, for example.  Now add more lines directly related to your thesis.

(2) Did you begin with a quote? Be sure you actually refer to it by name and develop ideas from it in your introduction. Also, let us know the author or credentials of the author as related to your topic.

(3) Is your introduction too short in relation to the length of the essay? Try to add more depth . . .Why is exploring this thesis important . . .Why are you pairing these very different texts together . . . Are you exploring questions people have always wondered about? Take time to discuss ideas like these to convince us you have thought about the thesis and its relationship to other ideas, times, people, or events.

(4) Is the thesis complete? Include nouns and phrases to name specifics, rather than making the reader encounter the specifics later.  So, take out “. . .has many effects” and name the effects in your thesis.  Don’t worry about giving away the “plot”!

Conclusion–Don’t worry about the rule of avoiding new ideas in the conclusion; instead, think about adding depth to show your brain power. Include the “so what” of your thesis. (1) Why is your analysis important? What effect does your argument have in your life or your reader’s? (2) Suggest other related research or ideas that need exploration. (3) Do modern readers see this idea, issue, or literary work differently than in former times? If so, what does that say about its significance? (4) How might life be different if we accept or reject your argument? Picture it for us.

Ending your Paper: Finding the “So what?”  –Download for more ideas!

“I’d like you to check for FLOW.”

 “Maybe this doesn’t FLOW right.”

Though you might not be able to define FLOW in writing, you know when you have it and when you don’t!

Many qualities contribute to text FLOW; here are some editing steps you can apply that may help you capture that elusive quality.

COHERENCE

Read aloud. Though this reminds you of junior high, it’s the best editing trick around. Underline sentences or parts that don’t “sound right” and check out their insides. These two examples will give you the idea.

Example: Colleges are making tuition more affordable with scholarships and having  scholarships and campus jobs.  [Notice how the phrases are constructed differently. They are not similar in grammatical structure or consistent in point of view, which wrecks the flow.]
Improved: Colleges are making tuition more affordable by offering scholarships and campus jobs.
Example: For companies who want to increase market share, they must advertise to their target group. [The word "for" throws off the sentence. Begin with "companies" and omit "they."]

Wordy or illogical constructions can clog a sentence’s flow: The reason is because . . .Pneumonia is when

Omit because and when in this type of construction.

COHESION–You’ll feel “flow” when ideas move from old-to-new:
Move from familiar to unfamiliar ideas. Notice this movement in the following sentences:

The native language of nearly 1 million people is American Sign Language (ASL) [new idea]. Unlike a common misperception, ASL [old idea] is not English in signed form [new idea]. Signed English [old idea] involves signing individual characterisitics of an English sentence, whereas an ASL signer uses physical space occupied and facial expression in a communication exchange [new idea].  ASL [old idea] can be described as “pictorial/visual and three dimensional while English is audible and linear” (Schmidt, Bunse, Dalton, et al 7).
PUNCTUATION also assists with “flow” because these minute marks signal a change in tone, expression, or tempo that you would hear or see in a conversation. On paper, these signals tell your brain what to expect next.

Check out the blog category of “editing” to brush up on conventions of punctuation.

Schmidt, Katherine, et al. “Lessening the Divide: Strategies for Promoting Effective Communication between Hearing Consultants and Deaf Student-writers.” The Writing Lab Newsletter,  33.5 (2009): 6-10.