Welcome to Valparaiso Unversity, where we speak in code and the sidewalk paths lead you on confusing expeditions. Remember: the stained glass end of the Chapel (a.k.a. “God’s juicer”) faces east. To help you adjust to life at Valpo, here’s a list of Valpo slang and lingo:

1. Fish tank lounge: n. The lounge on the top floor of the Union, where you can find a delightful fish tank. Many campus organizations hold meetings in this area. Per popular request, the new union will also have a fish tank lounge.
2. VUCA: /voo’-kuh/ n. Short for Valparaiso University Center for the Arts. Inside you can find many free concerts, the Brauer Museum of Art, plays, and the annual German Club Fasching dance. Outside is ample space for frisbe and football.
3. CCLIR: /klur/ n. Short for Christopher Center for Library and Information Resources, also referred to as The Christopher Center, but rarely called “the library.” Important highlights central to a Valpo student’s experience include Grinder’s—the on-campus coffee shop, fireplace lounges, and study rooms.
4. Frozen explosion: n. Grinder’s serves these sweet, icy, addictive concoctions in a variety of flavors. Grab one, then walk fifteen steps north to the Writing Center for a caffeinated consultation.
5. Resmin: n. Short for residential minister. These are students that work for the Chapel, setting up Bible studies, holding office hours, and being otherwise kind, fun, and approachable people. Each dormitory is assigned at least one residential minister.
6. Merlin: n. A fabulous, tall oak south of the Chapel. Legend has it that Merlin’s existence was threatened by the construction of the CCLIR, but to the joy of Valpo students, Merlin survived. Merlin’s shade is hospitable to picnics, studying, enjoying nature, and the annual Shakespeare Under the Stars—a spoof production of Shakespeare’s works.
7. I.T.: n. Abbreviation for Information Technology, but rarely called “it.” (Think E.T. phone home.) Ask IT about any on-campus technology topics, from setting your laptop for wireless access to your print quota. They are available via email and phone, or drop by their Help Desk, located on the first floor of the CCLIR, between Grinder’s and the Writing Center.
8. God’s juicer: n. The top of the east end of the Chapel is often referred to as God’s juicer.
9. The blue light: n. The Writing Center’s blue light, located on our desk on the first floor of CCLIR, is turned on when a consultant is available.
10. Bethesda/Nifty Thrifty: n. A thrift store on Marks St., just off of campus, where many students take advantage of half-off for Valpo student Fridays.
11. VUCrew: /voo-kroo/ n. A dedicated cheering section at VU Basketball games.
12. Adam: n. The four foot tall knight in shining armor who makes The Round Table his home.
13. The terrace: n. Outside study area off of the fourth floor of the CCLIR.
14. The kissing bridge: n. A bridge that leads from nowhere to nowhere on the southeast side of campus. The story goes that it used to be on old campus, suspended over railroad tracks, and it was a goal to kiss for the entire length of a train. Students reportedly returned covered in soot, except for their mouths.
15. Blue books: n. Available in two sizes, professors oftentimes ask students to purchase bluebooks (either at the Union Info Desk or the University Book Store) for exams.
16. Chapel rats: n. Students who frequent the Chapel by attending daily Morning Prayer, Celebrate!, Candlelight, Sunday services, and volunteering.
17. Valparainsnow, Windiana: n. An endearing term for VU’s hometown, referring to the somewhat unpredictable and unmerciful weather.

I hope you find this list helpful as you learn the Valpo lingo. Before you know it, you’ll be able to construct sentences like those at the beginning of this blog, and nobody outside of the Valpo bubble will have any idea what you’re talking about.

Until next time, keep your eyes open for our blue light and feel free to instant message us at VUWCafterhours from 9-10:30 PM Suday through Thursday with any quick questions.