As I reflect upon my experience with Ancilla Systems, I realize I am looking through different eyes than when I began the summer. When I entered as the development team’s intern, my position tasks included attending meetings, grant-writing, and email-sending. Of course these things were a part of my regular schedule, yet I find myself reminiscing experiences that were much more impactful.

One of my fondest memories includes interviewing Sisters who work or have worked in healthcare settings. Prior to our interviews, I was eager to meet the Sisters but I did not expect how much wisdom would be revealed during each conversation. Each Sister offered a very unique but consistent view of healthcare:  one that involved ministry. I loved hearing the compassion for the patients they served and the miracles they achieved in their healthcare careers. Every sister who I interviewed spoke about her love for developing relationships with patients, a quality that is not always present among medical professionals. In each story, I could see that the Sisters cared for each patient’s spirit as well as his or her physical health.

 

As a privileged American citizen, I used to ignorantly assume that healthcare was universally available. I thought that if you could afford to live in America then you must be able to afford insurance! However, the United States spends the most amount of money on healthcare insurance and still reaps one of the poorest healthcare systems in the world.  In many other countries, governments provide universal healthcare for all citizens, no matter their income because they view healthcare as a basic civil right. Within the American health system, many people are often denied the right to healthcare if they cannot afford insurance.

 

While I shadowed Sister Nora Hahn, PHJC, at St. Joseph’s clinic in Plymouth, IN, I saw that help can be given to clients who may not have insurance. I witnessed medical personnel who overcame many obstacles to ensure that patients received much needed care. Many clients appeared at the clinic with diagnoses that required immediate intervention or long-term treatment. Without help from the wonderful staff, it is likely that many of the patients would experience a decline in health status simply due to lack of insurance.

 

Another memory that resonated with me the following weeks included holding the children currently housed at Nazareth Home (NH). During my NH volunteer orientation and tour, I witnessed each of the staff members mention “giving love to the children” or “spending time with the children.” Nazareth Home is not an ordinary foster home, it is a haven in which volunteers naturally deliver love to children who desperately need compassionate human contact. I could not believe the miracles that occurred in the short time I spent at the Home: the children were laughing, smiling, napping, eating, and playing in a safe environment where painful experiences, if even for a moment, were just memories.

 

Another memory I loved was attending the Sojourner Truth House walk held in both Donaldson and Gary, Indiana. One moment that stood out to me specifically was during the registration period in Gary: while many could not donate money (or could only donate very little), they still volunteered time and participation. I was amazed by the generosity exhibited by each member of the Walk and the joy that I witnessed at the registration table.

 

While I remember each of these moments, I contemplate my future in nursing since I have experienced the wonderful ministries of the Poor Handmaids. How can I effectively serve others with a humble spirit and full heart? How will I know what others need so that I can heal them? How can I maintain my relationship with Christ in a world that is, at times, hopeless? I decided to view these questions through the eyes of the Poor Handmaids of Jesus Christ.

 

Much of nursing education revolves around one crucial theory developed by Abraham Maslow, known as the Hierarchy of Needs. “Maslow’s Hierarchy” focuses on levels of personal needs that must be met sequentially before a person can be his or her best or “actualized” self. While Maslow’s Hierarchy is a very fundamental structure, as times change, the means to meet those ends change as well. The Sisters have exhibited their ability to be dynamic over decades, during civil rights movements, ecosystem transitions, and ministry development. As a nurse, I will have to adapt to changing times as well. Health needs change, disease prominence changes, and my relationship with my patients will change. However, as a human being who naturally cares for others’ spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being, I must be well-equipped.

 

I have noticed that when the Sisters serve others, they address specific needs so that the poor, whoever it may be, can achieve personal goals and develop independence. I have focused on some reflection components that are necessary when serving others, and serving in the spirit of the Poor Handmaids.

 

Humility is a God-given value that is necessary when dedicating your life to serving others. First, I must address where my ego lies in God’s eyes. How can I effectively serve others if my pride eclipses the Holy Spirit’s presence in me? The Bible has much to say about pride but one verse in particular that speaks to me is Philippians 2:3 (NIV), “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” The Poor Handmaids do not just serve others, but they humbly love those whom they serve. Sisters have dedicated themselves wholeheartedly to a life of service, denying materialistic wealth and cherishing a life in Jesus’ wealth instead.

 

As I become wrapped up in my own plans for the future, I seem to have forgotten that God will always provide for me. Acquisition of materialistic items very easily hinders motivation to serve. For instance, how can I give freely to others if I am overly concerned about my own future financial security? Placing my faith in resources here on Earth will not allow me to reach others effectively, and attempting to serve others solely with worldly items will not help them either. While monetary resources will oftentimes be necessary when I serve others, it should not become central to my service. As I serve others, I remember that my service must include nurturing the non-physical well-being of others, in addition to their physical state.

 

This leads me to another focus: how can I identify what another person needs while I am serving others? This ties back to Maslow’s Hierarchy as it addresses how to love others who may not need something tangible like shelter or food. I often struggle with trying to satiate another person’s needs with something that can be physically given to them but in reality that person may just be yearning for an active, listening ear. When serving a friend, patient, or even complete stranger, focus on them in that moment. What is his or her greatest need right now? Oftentimes, words of advice or quick actions just become a haphazard bandaid solution in someone’s desperate time of need. Instead, give love in its multiple forms: time, patience, or just presence.

 

My final focus falls upon a relationship with Christ which is crucial to living a life of service; if Christ is love, how can I love others without loving Him? The Poor Handmaids exhibit this Christ-like love everyday through humility, presence, prayer, kindness, encouragement, and so much more. To serve like a Poor Handmaid means I must evaluate my relationship with Christ first. What am I doing daily to strengthen my faith and how can I ensure that Jesus’ Holy presence is with my during my service? Presence, patience, kindness, love, and many other attributes that the Sisters embody come only from a dear relationship with and constant focus on Christ.

 

Washington D.C. in the summer months becomes more like Washington D. I. (the District of Interns).  Going to work in the morning on the Metro reveals large swaths of college age, well-dressed, people, on their way to the heart of the city.  If there is any doubt that these are interns, one only needs to look at their badges (governmental interns receive an identifiable “intern” badge) or listen in to their conversations.  Often times interns travel in friend groups, or work groups, headed to the same place.  In either case, they will often talk to each other about the kinds of work they are doing in so-and-so’s office or for this-or-that agency while on leave from their various universities and colleges located around the country.

Noticing these large groups of people one is forced to wonder: why intern?  Is it the great pay and glamorous lifestyle?  No, that surely can’t be it.  Most people could likely make more working a summer job back home.  The fact that we are all riding a dirty metro displays that there is little glamour in the whole thing.  Is it the ability to put this on the resume for better chances at future employment?  This is indeed a perk, however, having an internship on your resume does surely not guarantee a job position.  In addition, one could likely have a very good looking resume going out into the workfield without ever doing an internship.  Is it the experience of it?  This seems like a much closer answer to the truth, but maybe not in the traditional sense of experience.

The answer that I have come to accept is experience in a kind of “trial and error” sense.  By this, I mean we intern to test out certain theories of what environment we want to work in or what kind of work we want to be doing.  At Valpo, the word “vocation” is thrown about often, forcing you to start thinking about what this may mean for you fairly early on in your college career.  Where do you belong?  Where does your passion lie?  In essence, what do you want to do for the large majority of the rest of your life.  No pressure.

Throughout one’s college career we develop theories of what we want to be doing and what we will enjoy, however, we rarely acknowledge that these are only theories.  Once we decide on a passion and ideal career trajectory, it is easy to forget that this is largely unbased.  We have never actually tried doing this kind of work for 40 hours, 5 days, a week.  In this way, it is like a question that we forget is a question.  We assume we know the answer because we think we know ourselves, but in reality this is something that needs to be proven.  Do we actually know ourselves as well as we think we do?

This, then, is where internships come in.  Internships provide a relatively safe, temporal, chance to test out a career in the real world.  If you like it, as you thought you would, you get a sense of satisfaction.  You now have proof that the trajectory you see yourself on is the one for you.  This opens up new questions though, of more specifics.  Now that you know what the work you want to do is, you must figure out in what way you want to enter into this field and in what capacity you want to work.

However, there is also an alternative response to an internship. It might be that you end up having a rude awakening, that what you assumed would be your ideal career may be less than ideal.  This, while it can be momentarily jarring, is actually just as helpful to your self and career development.  This teaches you that you need to go back to the drawing board, come up with a new theory, and test it again.

This is how the life of the intern is truly a process of questioning, questions being answered, and this answer somehow always leading to more questioning  Once this is realized, though, there is a sense of solidarity on the morning Metro ride.  Yes, all us interns may be doing different kinds of work and may be at different points in our lives, but we are still trying to all answer the same questions, and in the end, we will all get one of the same two answers.  Whatever the answer may be at the end, we are all learning critical things about ourselves as people and, in the case of CAPS fellow, workers for social justice.

 

“You’re leaving next week? But you just got here!”

Doesn’t it feel like that? It’s true what the saying says – time flies when you’re having fun! Time also flies when you are kept incredibly busy and everyday is filled with numerous learning opportunities and personal and professional challenges.

 

As my summer at The Village at Rockville (TVAR) in Maryland wraps up I can’t help but reflect on the time I have had here. From the people I have met, the meetings I have sat in on, the responsibilities I have been given and the times I’ve spent exploring the area – I look back and wonder how it all managed to happen during one CAPS Fellowship. I can honestly say that everything that happened was unexpected, challenging at times but so worth it. So worth the occasional discomfort, confusion, exhaustion, and hours of meetings.

To give you a better idea of what my summer looked like I will explain it this way. I worked 9-5, except Fridays which were 7:30AM-5PM so I could participate on wound-rounds.  There were occasional evenings during the summer that I would stay late or go in and talk with night shift staff but other than that my evening and weekends were available for endless adventure and exploring the Maryland, Virginia, D.C. area.

When we weren’t experiencing the numerous restaurants, hiking trails or activities people had encouraged us to visit, we were in the office working on our individual projects. Other times we were attending meetings both at TVAR and at the corporate office – National Lutheran Communities and Services (NLCS).

 

A huge part of making this CAPS Fellowship what it has been, are the people I have encountered both at TVAR and also beyond at other NLCS entities. Every person I met has encouraged me to reach out to them and to let them know if I ever have any further questions or need professional guidance. It has amazed me to experience the compassion and desire other people have had to see me grow. I know many times it is said that words cannot fully describe something ­- in this case that saying can’t be truer. Words truly cannot describe the appreciation I have for the amount of wisdom, guidance, and support I have received the past 8 weeks. I have received many notes with words of advice, wisdom, various contacts, and many other little tidbits that I will be reflecting on and incorporating into further development, especially, in the coming years as I continue to pursue my passion of becoming a nurse.

 

Now comes a bittersweet time of saying goodbye to such an influential group of people I have had the honor of working with this summer. It will be the people of National Lutheran Communities and Services, especially The Village at Rockville, that I will miss greatly.

But as this journey comes to a close I walk away a determined and more knowledgeable nurse and professional. I also leave reflecting on the word “change”. A goal in my life is to create change somewhere, somehow. I don’t know yet if that change will come in the form of a medical mission trip, a pediatric hospital, a church, or with family or friends, but I have been made to realize that change won’t always be seen with my own eyes. Maybe the change I create in the world will happen years after I have an idea or begin to create something. Maybe this change in the world happens within my own heart, creating a domino effect. In addition to having a passion to serve in a pediatric hospital I now add a passion of working with dementia patients. It is hard to imagine how much an entire perspective and desire can change in a few weeks time.