When I was just beginning my CAPS placement process, my dream of what this summer would hold was a filmy concoction that I excitedly stirred; my recipe grew as I poured in stories that previous fellows had told me, sprinkled in the advice of every person that would answer me, and threw in a dash (or two) of anxiety for good measure.

I like to reward myself towards the end of the day by moving downstairs to work in the resident studio of one of my new creative friends, Abi (who also took this artistic photo).

This past Wednesday marked exactly one month (it’s felt like two weeks!) that I’ve been interning at the Harrison Center as one of their many summer Cultural Entrepreneur Interns. I can confidently say that my dream had as many holes as it did substance and that I didn’t even need to cook it up (but who am I kidding– I’m definitely already gathering the ingredients for what I imagine the upcoming school year will bring).

One of the many epiphanies I’ve acquired and tucked away has been that it is okay to dream (and worry) about my future; even though I’m certain it won’t unfold in the detailed way I plan it in my head, it’s a part of my process for realizing what I want for myself and for those around me.

Yet parts of my dream have been greatly affirmed– like my vision of a free-flowing work environment that’s continually sparked and tamed by powerful, art-loving women, and my strengthened confidence in my writing abilities and future potential. I still get a few butterflies whenever I stop and think about how I’m working a stable, 9-5 job where my responsibilities entail writing (¾ of every day), interpreting art, strengthening community, and advocating for the persuasive and healing powers of the literary arts.

When I was filling out my application for the CAPS Fellows Program, I was very skeptical that there would actually be a real-world, successful organization with a mission to create change through art. At the time, I was freshly-obsessed with the concept of Artivism (art + activism) which I’m now happily able to say with certainty is one of my callings and purposes in society. It was when I first fell into the rabbit hole that is the Harrison Center’s website, that the flame for my future-summer-potion was ignited; I’m using my creative skills and passions everyday for a cause that’s bigger than me.

At the end of my first full week of work, my supervisor spontaneously invited me to come with her to the Indianapolis Museum of Art where I got to wander around for a few hours while she had a meeting.

My time in Indy has also filled some of the cracks of my dream that–at the time–I didn’t have the trust or courage to plant into my heart. Knowing that the literary arts is often an underestimated platform of expression, I was motivated to share with the Center what I envisioned. My supervisor, Joanna, trusted me with the freedom to choose how I wanted to execute this goal– as long as I was also blog-writing, taking initiative and advocating for myself. After my first couple days, I was feeling intimidated by the lack of writers that I was working alongside and the demand to push myself outside of my comfort-zone.

Flash-forward a week after my first day: I was leading about 20 people–fellow interns, HC artists, my supervisors, and a board member–in an Ekphrastic writing exercise where I guided them in  interpreting their own subjective understandings of a 5×5 ft mixed media painting. The experience flew by and it went exceptionally better than I had ever let myself hope for. One of my coworkers told me after this week’s exercise that she never knew writing could help her process everything so well and that she can’t wait to implement this new skill into her coursework in the fall.

But more valuable than all these epiphanies (expected and not), was the fulfillment of a gaping hole in my filmy dream that I hadn’t let myself add to the recipe: the incredible friendships I’m forming with my cohort and fellow artists at the Center. I think God, fate, and Ali (not necessarily in that order) were definitely working in cahoots when arranging the people that have become instrumental to my summer in Indianapolis. My mind and heart have expanded–and will continue–to hold their different perspectives and dreams that I’m lucky enough to learn through our CAPS family dinners, bonding over shared artistic soapboxes with my coworkers, and getting caught in torrential downpours (maybe more than once).

We took this photo before we even got to Indy but it’s actually the only one with everyone in it!