On one of my first commutes to work I had left my headphones at my apartment. This is a big deal to someone riding the CTA, because headphones provide a welcomed distraction to the chaos of life in the city. This train ride felt really long and I tried to ignore the awkwardness I was feeling. As I stood to exit the train, an older man also stood so we made eye contact and shared a small grin. We stepped off, and as we hit the platform he started chatting to me about his day. We walked for about five minutes together before our routes took a shift as I went to walk into work and he was to continue down the sidewalk. Before we parted ways, he asked for my name and we shook hands as we shared a more genuine, friend-like smile.

I have reflected on this moment a lot during my summer. Perhaps the hardest part about the city to me is that human interactions are reserved for those at work or our known friends… rarely are conversations with strangers welcomed or encouraged. So then I started to think about why this is. Is it because people are somehow more dangerous in the city? Is it the fear that someone will ask something from us and it’ll feel awkward to deny? And I honestly couldn’t come up with an answer that made me feel content. I realize that there are major issues in the city that create for a dangerous environment and that crime rates are high. I realize that being a woman, I should be more mindful of the places I travel and what I do, in order to be safe. But these things still didn’t explain why humans couldn’t just love each other enough to engage in a simple conversation on the train. So the first step I took to experiment with this debate was to promise to never again wear headphones in a public place. With this one decision came many more interactions with strangers. I was asked multiple times for spare change, was complimented on my hair, and most often of all was asked, “Hey, how you doin?” in a non-Joey-from-Friends way but more of a thank-you-for-acknowledging-my-presence way. How crazy it was, that my removing my headphones, I automatically became a conscious member of society instead of a life-avoider. This of course made me start acting differently. I envisioned the people asking me for spare change as a version of myself in very different circumstances. Because of this empathy, I could no longer ignore them and make up excuses about why I couldn’t treat them as a member of society, so instead I would ask to pet their dog and talk to them about the pet. Or if they didn’t have a pet, I would just ask them how their day was going or have another form of conversation to initiate. Sometimes I had money and other times I didn’t, but in any case, I would never walk by without saying something.

I think this is what the CAPS Fellows Program meant to me. It’s exhausting to constantly be focused on MY purpose and MY career and MY achievements, especially when I don’t know what the heck my calling is. But what I do know, is that no matter what environment I am in or what day I am having, I need to be a conscious, loving member of society. I know that my purpose is to approach any situation in truth and in love. As I practice these two things more and more, I believe my calling will become more and more evident, and I can bless others while feeling content about my place in this world. And to those who are having trouble finding their calling also, I just wanna say… it starts with taking out our headphones.

Before we even get started here, I think it is important to know that I grew up in a small farm town in Northeast Indiana, to devoted and incredibly loving parents. My hometown, North Manchester Indiana, is a Tree City USA with one university, two retirement homes and three stoplights. If you travel 4 miles east of town limit, you’d find my parents’ house tucked in a woods with a long gravel lane. This environment has to be one of the top places for a child to grow up. I had frogs to catch, hills to sled down, and many cousins to play basketball with in my grandparents’ barn. Now that I am three years out of high school and into my degree at Valparaiso University, I love to reflect on my past as I am continuously blown away by my present and future.

Now that you know where I am from, I want to tell you a little about where I am at right now. Currently I am sitting in the north lawn of the Field Museum in downtown Chicago, with the skyline in its full glory as the sun shimmers on the high rise office and apartment buildings. I can see the lake to my right but its natural beauty is somewhat overtaken by the noise and energy of the city in motion. I am contemplating whether I want to get a donut or a cookie for a treat from one of the shops along my walk back to my apartment, or if I should just grab some groceries and stay productive. All of this moment is something different than what I grew up knowing, yet I am able to fit into stride with the millions of people who live in this city. Obviously I have a sense of adventure and curiosity to be able to fit into the crowd like this, but I also believe that I feel comfortable here because of the people who I have met so far. Today as I was in my supervisor’s office talking about the events of tomorrow, and into the room walks a jovial man (Mark Bouman) who will be going with us tomorrow on our drive to Gary, Indiana. We do a little introduction and I find out that he not only graduated from VU, but he also had the same professor as me… in fact, he had Professor Janke’s first class and I had his last! As I reflect on this moment I feel a comfort knowing that we have an immediate connection. I also feel proud to be a student at VU, because this man has been incredibly successful in his career and he is just one example of why VU’s reputation extends in circles outside of Valparaiso. For these reasons, I am anticipating an incredibly bright and successful summer.

Though my past is geographically different than my present, my passion for people and nature remains the same. It is now evident to me that my backyard woods and my grandparents’ basketball games were much more than temporary entertainment. In fact, these things are a huge part of who I will forever be. I will always be a student of nature and a social member of a team. Therefore, I am so excited to be working on environmental community engagement in the Calumet Region for a cohort of Field Museum people that have a passion for healthy people and healthy places.

AKA, students of Ronald Janke’s first and last classes.