“¿Tu cabeza está corriendo? (Is your head running?)” Asks one of the gentleman in detention I chat with at McHenry County Jail.

“¡Sí!” I reply with a smile. “Yes, my head is running!”

Throughout my weeks interning with the Interfaith Committee for Detained Immigrants (ICDI) in Chicago, Illinois, I have used more conversational Spanish than I have in my several years of studying the language. Speaking in Spanish was not something that I expected to do for my internship this summer. It was not something that was necessarily required when volunteering with the non-profit. However, I quickly learned that even though I was nervous and unconfident with my Spanish-speaking ability, taking the opportunity to use Spanish in conversation was something that made me a better minister to the people I was meeting.

Spanish materials that ICDI uses for pastoral ministry

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I drive to McHenry County Jail and Kenosha Detention Center to participate in pastoral care for men and women in detention. The volunteers that participate in this ministry engage in conversation with the men and women in detention and listen to the stories that the men and women in either facility wish to talk about. The conversation topics are vast. Sometimes the individuals will talk about Copa America and their favorite soccer team. Other individuals will bring up fashion. However, most conversations revolve around how an individual in detention is feeling, how their day is going, how their family is doing, and how their faith helps them stay positive amidst difficulty.

Both McHenry County Jail and Kenosha Detention Center have large Spanish-speaking populations. During my first day volunteering with the pastoral care team, I shadowed many different volunteers to gain an understanding of how conversations usually ran. I quickly noticed that there was a need for volunteers that spoke Spanish, and that many of the Spanish-speaking volunteers were talking with two, three, sometimes four individuals at a time. With the encouragement and support of the many volunteers with pastoral care, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and try a conversation in Spanish.

Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park, Chicago, IL

Since that day, all of the conversations I have had during my time volunteering with the pastoral care team have been in Spanish. Now, these conversations are not free from mistakes. I fumble with my vocabulary. I forget the words that I want to use. Every conversation I have with an individual or group usually begins with the disclaimer, “I’m sorry. I have errors in my grammar and I need to practice, but I want to talk with you and listen to you.” While some conversations end in a laugh or two at my expense, every conversation I have with a man or woman in detention teaches me a lesson. One conversation sticks out in my mind very clearly.

During one of my first few conversations in Spanish, I greeted a gentleman in Spanish with my initial disclaimer. I explained that I was a student and was with ICDI as a summer intern. The gentleman smiled and asked where I had learned Spanish. I told him that I was

Winter Room (9th Floor)- Harold Washington Library in Chicago

studying the language in school. For the next half hour, the two of us chatted about different Spanish dialects, the different languages spoken in his home country of El Salvador, and how difficult the English language can be to understand (even for native speaker!). After some time, there was a natural lull in our conversation. After a few moments, my conversation partner looked at me with a smile and asked if my head was running from all of the conversation. I laughed and replied yes. The man smiled and said,

“Parece tan cómoda. Cuando me senté, sonrió, inmediatamente comenzó una conversación conmigo y no pareció nervioso en absoluto. (You look so comfortable. When I sat down, you smiled, immediately started a conversation with me and didn’t look nervous at all.)”

I thanked the gentleman, and assured him that although I might look comfortable, I was incredibly nervous. I had made so many mistakes and I needed to practice more to be able to express myself more clearly.

In Spanish, he replied, “I know that it is difficult, and you might feel like you are struggling, but it means more to me and everyone else  that you are taking the time to speak the language of our hearts. What is even more beautiful is that you let US speak the language of our hearts, and you LISTEN to us. We cannot go outside here. We cannot see or feel the sun. But when you and the other volunteers come here, we can see the sun a little bit. That is a beautiful thing. You volunteers are beautiful disciples and give us hope.”

Chicago Sunrise

The conversation with the gentleman in detention helped me understand my position with the pastoral care team in a new way. The work that I was partaking in was not for my personal comfort. It was to serve others where they were at. It wasn’t as important for me to present as it was to be present.

My head is still running. It is running with questions and curiosity. It is running with new information about the immigration system in the United States. It is running with the memories of conversations had and relationships being made. My head is running, but I do not want to stop now. There is still so much to learn. There are more conversations to be had. And even if the words do not come out perfectly, I hope that I, along with the others involved in this ministry, can continue to bring a light into lives of the men and women in detention.