This summer has been very different from previous years. Although the circumstances for this summer have not been ideal, it has created the best environment for reflection. I am a person who dislikes free time because it gives me time to think about everything. A lot of overthinking has been done in these three months. All this thinking is overwhelming because there’s no structure, and my mind likes to spiral down during these moments. My goal for this summer was to better my reflection skills. Through CAPS I have been able to do that through peer reflect ins, mentor meetings, and these blog posts. I have found that whenever I feel overwhelmed the best way to get rid of that feeling was through writing. I have never been a fan of journaling because I always enjoyed talking to people about it (in person), but due to COVID-19 that wasn’t possible. I knew that I could always call or facetime anybody, but it wasn’t the same. Somehow journaling was better. All of these spaces have allowed me to reflect on current events, and my future.

One of the biggest questions that I reflected on has been, “What do I want to do after I graduate?” I am finally entering my “senior” year of college, yet I have no idea if engineering is something I want to pursue. Before coming to college, I had no idea what engineering was. All I knew is that they were people who liked to build things to make life easier. The only reason I went into engineering was because I had teachers tell me that I was doing well in my math and science classes. Another reason was because of how difficult this major was perceived to be. I was the teen that believed I was so ready for college, and that high school was a breeze. I wanted a challenge, and engineering definitely delivered that. Somehow, I have survived these past three years, and with that I forced myself to “enjoy” engineering. I don’t think I have ever hyped up engineering, rather I enjoyed talking about the work I have done with students. That work has been focused on incoming first-year students, and the students who identify as BIPOC. My favorite part about working with those students has been seeing them grow to be leaders on campus, whether it’s within their majors or with organizations.  These past couple of years I have seen that my involvement in Student Affairs has given me the opportunity to look into Higher Education as a possible career choice.

Why continue engineering if there’s a possibility of not going into that field? Honestly, I am too deep into the program to change my major, but I have also never thought about what other fields would interest me. I have acknowledged that engineering has also given me a lot of skills that can be applied elsewhere. There’s a small portion of engineers that have decided to go through different routes whether it be law, medicine, business, or education. One’s major and passions may not always coincide, although there are people who have been able to find that. My passion is to serve others, and while I know that there are ways that I can do that with engineering it’s not something I can see myself doing. I want to say that it’s okay if your major and passion don’t coincide. It’s not the end of the world, I promise you.

This is an idea of how my reflections go, obviously they go way more in depth and are more complicated than this. Reflection has given me the opportunity to ask myself the hard and scary questions. It has also allowed me to reflect on the kind of person I was, the person I am, and the person I want to be.