This is the last of my 11 weeks with the refugee case management team at Heartland Alliance. I admit there is much about this remote work that I won’t miss: being on hold for 15 minutes with an insurance company, realizing that the reason my coworkers were ignoring me was because I was muted, and the frustration of being “it” in games of four way telephone tag between clients, interpreters, and other offices. There’s even more that I will miss though: my coworkers (and the gifs they send in our Microsoft Teams chat), the families I’ve come to know, and the opportunities to learn about the world without leaving my bedroom.

My sphere of awareness grew beyond the four walls of my cozy suburban house to encompass the ongoing genocides in Myanmar/Burma, the torture and murder of LGBTQ people in many African nations and the harsh realities of rebuilding a life in a country with endless freedom yet endlessly complicated bureaucracy. My prayer is that I will not sink into the feelings of apathy and helplessness that tempt us to shrink our world once again in order to avoid the pain and responsibility of our global reality.

After I’ve met people who’ve faced (and overcome) challenges like war, torture, starvation and homelessness, how will I respond to discomfort and suffering in my own life? How will I respond to the struggle of my friends, my family, strangers? How will I think differently about what I hear in the news and see on the streets? How will it change my conversations? How will I let this work change me?

It feels weird to stop when so much is incomplete. I have a list of “loose ends” I hope to tie up before Friday (it’s 14 items long), but that doesn’t include all of the ends I’m forced to leave loose. Some applications I worked on will sit pending for nine months. Some people won’t return my calls before I go. I’ve made referrals I can’t follow up on, and appointments I can’t send reminders for. I will never meet the babies whose mothers we’ve been equipping with supplies and childbirth education. Honestly, it’s possible I won’t even see my coworkers from the shoulders down.

But I suppose that’s how it goes, the line of interns keeps moving and I must trust that the people I care for will be taken care of.