‘I don’t know.’: the response that never feels good enough. Whether it is an answer to what you want, why you started, or what you plan for the future, few leave a conversation satisfied when you say ‘I don’t know’. But I, personally, don’t know a lot of things. I am a very indecisive person; I like to do a lot of things, and I don’t mind doing a lot of things, so, while some people might call me a people pleaser, I would say I’m just really adaptable. I want what others want because I would be content with either. Being so flexible is great a lot of the time; I’m reliable, understanding, good at sharing, good at listening, good at conflict resolution, and the list goes on. But that also means, I have a hard time setting boundaries, and don’t always receive the same grace I give others. […]

As a result of my time ending at Jacob’s Ladder, I have been given a chance to shift my focus from getting the most out of my experience to reflecting on everything that I’ve learned and what it means. Throughout my summer at Jacob’s Ladder, I had the pleasure of learning many lessons, though the ones that stick out the most to me are the ability to walk into new experiences with an open mind and heart and not to put too much emphasis on my expectations.  I believe that it’s completely normal to have expectations and a mental checklist of things that we want to accomplish when entering a new environment or experience. It’s a way to hold ourselves accountable and a way to maximize what we’re learning. Even though having expectations is essentially inevitable, I have come to realize that expectations can limit us and put us in […]

A lot of people think that I am a shy person. But really, I am just an anxious person, and that results in me thinking and rethinking through any possible implications and consequences of any actions or words before doing or saying them. And when I do not pre-think through them, I will post-think through them afterwards. Or both, which can really slow an interaction. Shockingly enough, that kind of hesitation comes across as shy. As I have gotten older and worked on it, this pattern of thinking and hesitation have been steadily decreasing. And this summer specifically, I have gotten to practice a new mentality surrounding social interaction that has really helped. It started at the beginning of the summer. On maybe my second day, one of my supervisors took me to a meeting with her where she was planning an awareness event with a few other representatives of […]