To the Children of Horton’s Kids,

You have changed my life.

Every day you inspire me, you humble me, you frustrate me, you confound me, you encourage me, you challenge me, and you change me.  I will only be around for a season in your lifetime, but you will be an entire chapter in mine and I am grateful to know that the times I have had with you will be things I carry for the rest of my life.

The first day I met you all, I was terrified.  You try meeting some fifty some kids all at once– it’s terrifying.  In the following few weeks, as I got to know you better, I wondered if my place truly was among you all.  How could I meet you where you were at and provide you with anything?  The inadequacy I felt was stifling.  You all were so independent, so strong, and seemed like you had it all figured out.  It was incredibly intimidating to try to figure out the best way to serve you.  

Caring for you all the past few months is the most challenging and humbling experience of my life to date.  Every day your youth and innocence (despite the things you have grown up with and experienced — some of which has made you much, much older souls than I) holds a mirror up to my own heart.  It shows me how cynical and guarded my own heart has become over the years.  Every time we are together, we are learning from one another whether we both are aware of it or not.  It has made me conscious of softening my heart in efforts for you to avoid the same cynicism and hardening that my heart has experienced over the years.  You have reminded me how important it is to remain hopeful, how important it is to be grateful, and how important it is to continue to leave my heart open even if it’s for little, ordinary, everyday, miracles.  You are teaching me to love better, deeper, and without expecting anything in return.  

So on that note, I want to thank you.  Thank you for giving me something to look forward to, every day for the last three months.  Thank you for allowing me to serve you through smiles, arts, and crafts, and unexpected hugs.  Thank you for letting me be a part of your life from 2-6pm,  Monday through Thursday.  Thank you for challenging me and frustrating me and allowing me a glimpse into your lives.  Thank you for driving me nuts with requests for coloring pages and immediate dispersion in public places that gives me a heart attack (Maternal-instincts man).  Thank you for testing my patience so I grew to be more patient.  Thank you for challenging my thoughts on poverty stigmas and my understanding of underprivileged youth that previously only came from academia.  Thank you for humbling me with your friendship and good faith. Thank you for providing me with the experience of knowing each and every one of you.  

If I can instill anything into you all – it is that you matter.  You are significant and capable even when it feels like you are not.  You are both capable and able.  The biggest barrier will be yourself.  You have the power to make influential choices regarding your life; some won’t be easy and others will not be without consequences but learn from those decisions.  Each and every single one of you has the ability to rise above and beyond.  It’s not easy, Lord I promise you it might be one of the hardest things you ever do in your lifetime, but it is possible.  Remember that you are kind, you are capable, and you are important.

In this day and age, it is essential that you know you are important.  For almost two months straight I flipped on the news every morning and I read some horrific news about the racial bias in this country.  My thoughts immediately flip to you and I wonder what this society you and I are growing up in will mean for you.  I worry that the society we are surrounded by will get into your head first and that you will let the way things are dictate your path.  The way things are are not always how things should be.  This is why I want you to remember that you are important.  I want you to remember that your voice is important.  I can not guarantee who hears your voice but I can promise you someone will — your mother, your brother, your sister, your friend, your child, or even the staff of Horton’s Kids.  Someone will hear your voice.    

I want you also to remember that it is good to ask for help.  Take it from someone who is constantly learning just how hard asking for help is: asking for help is brave.  It’s brave to admit that you need someone other than yourself to assist you.  Whether it’s over homework or digging yourself out of the deepest, biggest hole you’ve ever found yourself in, asking for help is okay.  It is brave.  It is humbling.  But most of all, it is freeing.  It is freeing to ask someone to help you with whatever burden you are carrying, even if it is to give you a temporary rest.  

One final thing I want you to know, Children of Horton’s Kids, is that for every laugh, a smile shared, and hug exchanged, because of you, I am becoming a better me.  And my only wish is that every day, you try to become a better you.  There will be days you fail and on those days, I hope you forgive yourself… but continue to grow and continue to try, try, again.  

With love,

A Woman You Made Better