About a week into my internship with Lutheran Services in America was when I had my first “CAPS Moment”. I am not sure if this is a real term, but I think it best describes a moment in which a CAPS fellow feels a deep sense of purpose in their called location. I began my internship on a Wednesday and those first few days at Lutheran Services in America were spent with lots of cursory research. My fellowship has a goal of researching the trends of the nonprofit sector, so I therefore began much like I would have begun if this was a research project at Valpo. I read widely and broadly about the nonprofit sector and the organization’s role in it using websites and  journal articles. Even though this was not a university setting but the real world, due to the similar processes my mindset was one of intellectual curiosity, not delving too much into the meaning behind the work. That was until the first Monday.

Within the first few hours of this day I got an offer from one of the supervisors to go with her and one of our member CEOs to a “Hill visit”. Lutheran Services in America acts as an umbrella to 300 Lutheran based nonprofit organizations around the world, working with them to provide financial assistance, advice, connections, etc. and ensuring these organizations are running well.  This CEO was one who had volunteered to advocate for the protection of Medicaid.

Myself, this CEO, our supervisor, Kim, and another intern, walked over to the Congressional offices. It was a supremely imposing building, both inside and out. We made it to the office of the representative we were visiting and got a sit down with one of his staff members. There I was, sitting on a regal couch in one of the offices of a member of Congress, sitting next to a CEO of an important social services organization, and sitting across from a well-dressed staff member. I suddenly felt very out of place and acutely aware that I was an intern who was not even out of college yet. What on earth was I doing here?! I became very self-conscious and awkward. What do I normally do with my limbs when sitting? Do I cross my legs or not? Is my shirt tucked in? Who do I look at?

Then the CEO began talking. He talked about the services his organization offered in its respective state and the incredible work they were doing. He discussed a few heartwarming stories about groups of siblings who found their way safely into loving foster families and whose lives were forever changed for the better by his organization. He also talked about how much his organization and those they serve, rely heavily on Medicaid.  Kim mentioned how much this affected, not just his constituents, but also the constituents of so many other organizations in the Lutheran Services network.

Sitting on that couch I received my CAPS moment. Suddenly, the work I was doing for this network was not just some other paper. All at once I realized, perhaps for the first time since I got there, the real extent to which this was indeed the real world, and the extent to which this work that I was doing could affect these people.

Please understand, I am under no delusions of grandeur that the report I will have written by the end of the summer will fix all of the growing issues in these programs. I realize that I, just a lowly intern and 19 year old undergrad, will of course not be able to fix all of these issues. But that didn’t really matter right then and there. What mattered was that I had, and have, an opportunity, just like that Congressman and his staff, and just like that CEO, to make a difference for people, however small it may end up being. I have a purpose here in DC.

I returned back to the office and sat down at my desk. I opened my laptop and continued my research, seemingly just like before. But, this time, I had a sense of purpose that this work matters and that I may be able to in some way make a difference.