As I wrap up my last three weeks in Washington, D.C., I’m reflecting on the mounting ambiguity that’s slowly creeping into my life. Some of these forces have been expected; the events that directly preceded or have happened during my stay make for a rather tumultuous timeline. My grandmother passed away, my parents have moved, and I’m entering my last semester of undergrad after the conclusion of this fellowship. I guess it’s consolation that many of my peers are in the same position of uneasiness heading into the future, but it’s troubling nonetheless.

I am very thankful that I’ve been able to spend my summer in D.C. This area is a networking hotspot, and running into dignitaries or prominent government officials is no surprise. A few weeks ago, I attended an Interfaith Community work meeting for my organization. The director of Asian American Pacific Islander Initiatives at the White House was present, and I got to meet her through LSA’s Vice President of External Affairs. A few weeks prior, I attended a Phi Beta Kappa networking reception, where I reconnected with one of the PBK event coordinators, who I met my first weekend here during a volunteering gig.

Lincoln Memorial at Night

Those opportunities stem from my position at Lutheran Services in America, one of the largest nonprofit networks in the U.S. For its size and breadth, the office is surprisingly calm. It’s rare that you can find peace in this city, but for how close it is to the Supreme Court, Capitol, and Library of Congress (literally all down the street), it’s a hidden gem. During my time here, I’ve finished a few projects, most of which had a wide berth of creative freedom. I coded and formatted survey data in Excel and Powerpoint, wrote my first concept paper, researched all of the organizations within LSA’s CYF (Children, Youth and Families) network, read a lot of material, and made an email list for my supervisor.

Washington Monument at Night

Whether it was at my desk or at home, I’ve realized just how difficult it is to be motivated when surrounded by ambiguity. As a psychology person, I’ve learned this through lecture; as lived experience, it manifests so clearly. Especially when the due date is loose, my ability to be efficient is severely tested. If projects require a significant amount of creative thought and time, it’s incredibly easy to lose your sense of purpose and drown in the technicalities. As a result, work environment, location, and compensation are all factors I’m considering in life after Valpo, and I feel better informed to evaluate options.

DC CAPS cohort featuring Eric Maruyama

Though I’m actively (or attempting to be) determining post-grad possibilities, I’m trying to be present in the moment here. The opportunities, sights, and friends are just too good to miss. And if there’s anything I learned from study abroad, it’s to give myself and the world around me the current moment, because our time is finite.

Fourth of July Fireworks from Balcony