Getting Lost by Rachel Winkler

I’ve gotten lost more times these past two weeks than I have gotten lost in the past two years. Being lost can be scary and frustrating but it is a part of life. My times being lost have been some of the most important and stabilizing experiences I have had. It was when my roommates needed me to come to pick them up after they got lost biking and rollerblading downtown and then we proceeded to all get lost was when we really bonded. When we got caught in a rainstorm and we couldn’t see five feet in front of us I learned I could rely on them to keep me calm. Getting lost was also something that happened to all of us while we were together and apart which made it easier to share all of our stories of triumph and failure. Being lost has helped me build a community. I have been able to have meaningful, insightful conversations with my cohort, my coworkers, and those I interact with through my internship by talking about the imperfections of life.

I am doing my internship at School on Wheels. They work to end the cycle of homelessness through education and empowering students. These students are at a major disadvantage when it comes to getting a good, stable education compared to their more privileged counterparts. I have had the opportunity to listen to mothers advocating for their children. It is amazing to see the sacrifices families make to provide education. I have also heard stories of heartbreak and trauma. So far I have also been feeling a little lost in my internship. It has made me question where I fit in in the world. I have been thinking about how to acknowledge my privilege and how to serve responsibly especially when entering into a new community. There is no easy answer but I have decided to embrace the feeling and force myself to think about the hard questions.

Recently, I have fully embraced wandering. I have started just walking and letting myself discover new things, new paths, and just get a little lost. I have started (I’m not sure if this is smart or not) turning off the GPS and trying to find my way back home. I have ended up in some really beautiful places that I might not have seen otherwise. I have also hit dead ends and had to change course. This summer I am going to try to let go of my expectations and let myself grow and wander into something I could not have planned out.