My friends and I have a running theory that moving to a new city should perfectly encapsulate the feeling you get when listening to the album 1989 by Taylor Swift. In this album, Swift is upbeat, bold, and seemingly unphased about her move from Nashville, TN to an apartment all by herself (and her cats), in New York City. While I was pretty sure that I would feel a bit more nervous about moving to a city alone, I knew that this internship would be a growing experience that only comes along once in a lifetime. 

 With a burst of confidence, I found myself testing our 1989 theory through the CAPS program, in my dream city. After a whirlwind of goodbyes and some (admittedly frantic) packing, I found myself settling down in a comfy apartment on the outskirts of Washington DC. While the pandemic has made my internship with Lutheran Services in America virtual, I have still been able to learn a great deal from this internship site in the few short weeks that I have been here. The first lesson? Outlook. This one came as a surprise, as I have almost religiously used Google for all of my school, work, and home needs for as long as I’ve known how to work a computer. After just a few hiccups (and missed messages in Microsoft Teams), I was well on my way to diving into projects and learning what a (virtual) office setting looks like. 

To my delight, I am able to continue past work of a former CAPS Fellow during my time with Lutheran Services in America. I’ve begun research on racial equity data within the nonprofit world and continuing to research LSA’s member organizations for the same type of data. I have also been able to learn more about how nonprofits can work together to combat the systems that hurt the people they serve. I’ve particularly enjoyed learning about aging adult facilities and how they help aging adults in rural populations. 

While I’ve enjoyed this work, it’s also led me to consider my calling for the future. In having a lively conversation with my CAPS mentor, I found that more often than not, our paths in life aren’t as straightforward as they seem. In fact, the further I get in my studies, the less I know what I want to do with my career and life path. Luckily, CAPS has allowed me to explore one of the many options that my degree leads me to. Nonprofit work can be difficult, frustrating, and can be either focused on day to day life or the big picture. LSA allows for me to see both sides of this work, experiencing conversations with those doing the nitty gritty ground work. The people who are constantly putting out fires while simultaneously making the world a better place. On the other hand, LSA takes the non profit staff and gives opportunities to focus on the bigger picture and direction of their work. This has led to more and deeper conversations around race and racism, reaching out to typically ignored populations, and creating a safer space for those who need help. Overall, I feel grateful for the different opportunities LSA has given me and allowed me to explore on my own. It has given the flexibility of a learning environment while still showing how to be productive in a work environment. 

On a hike at Icicle Gorge

My CAPS Placement at the Grunewald Guild is a bit unconventional, which is exactly what drew me to it. Nestled along the Wenatchee River, the Guild is surrounded by the snowy peaks of the Cascade Mountains, and the vibrant Wenatchee National Forest. When I arrived at the Guild at 11pm my first night, my supervisor took me out to the walking bridge over the river to listen to its roar and watch the stars. He told me that the river was the highest and fastest he had ever seen it, after recent warm temperatures led to a massive snow melt on the mountains. That first night I fell asleep in my loft to the sound of the river rushing right outside my window, imagining the new experiences it would bring with it. 

The Wenatchee River

Now three weeks later, the water levels have gone down a bit and I have adjusted to the constant sound of the river. I also have adjusted to the pace of life here in Washington. The Guild’s larger art classes will be starting in July, so for now, my daily tasks include preparing campus housing for guests, gardening, coordinating volunteers, and getting to know the other staff members and artists. When I met the other staff the first Thursday I was here, we had a short orientation meeting and then they told me the next item on the schedule was a Monday morning meeting. I spent that first weekend exploring the campus, hiking along the river, and bonding with my team. This relaxed pace has given me the opportunity to settle into a new environment and reflect on each day as it passes. 

As a college student whose biggest accomplishment is balancing 800 classes, clubs, and committees, it feels unusual to have time to just be still. My mind is always moving on to the next item on the to-do list, the next time block on my Google Calendar, before I even finish the task at hand. However, during my time here, I have been reflecting on how I can best use my time to meaningfully serve others and myself. I have the unique opportunity to spend a whole summer in a totally new place, learning about myself and taking time to think through my interests, passions, and commitments. As the hospitality coordinator for the summer, I have been assured I will be plenty busy helping guests in July and August. But in this time of preparation, I have not only been resetting guest rooms, but also my mindset in how I measure productivity and success.

I constantly feel the pressure to make progress and check things off my personal and professional to-do lists. Why am I rushing to have my whole life figured out? Even if I woke up tomorrow knowing my future education and career path, I would still be here at the Guild until August. There is no rush. Although it has been difficult at times to not compare my summer experience to my peers who might be making professional strides in more traditional ways, I know that serving at the Guild is where I am meant to be. In my three weeks here, I have already grown in my independence, ability to advocate for the things I need, and responsibility to delegate tasks to others. These along with many other developing skills and experiences are my new measure of success. While I might not include my new capacity for spider removal or my dishwashing talents on my resume, the personal growth I have experienced this summer is an accomplishment in itself. 

So why is the river rushing? Maybe it is because someone told it that it needs to have its entire career planned out by the age of 20. Maybe it’s because its peers recently posted about their new high-profile job opportunity. Maybe it is scared of not living up to the definition of success created by society. Or maybe it is just because recent warm temperatures led to a massive snow melt in the mountains. Whatever the reason, I have learned that life is not a race. I can learn and grow at my own pace, without fear of the future. After all, the river and I have different destinations and I am content right where I am. 

Going into my Caps experience, I knew my work would give me a valuable peek into the administrative side of nonprofits. I did not anticipate, however, how a goal of empowerment, growth, and economic opportunity requires a constant fixation on money. I knew that services need funding and most social problems stem from financial inequality, but I underestimated the amount of time and energy that goes into securing money to run the organization and deliver services. Essentially, I did not realize that nonprofits were allowed to be greedy.
Growing up comfortably, without needing to worry about paying for my basic needs, I learned to appreciate the world separate from “treasures on Earth”. I understood that money, while necessary to survive, should not be the focus of life. People who spend their time seeking money would find themselves with less than their neighbors. That reality helped me become a more empathetic and grounded person, but it also forced me to see wealth in a negative light. So when I learned about the intense fundraising efforts of nonprofits, I was both impressed and skeptical. It seemed wrong to tell myself money was the root of evil while simultaneously working hard to secure more and more money for this business.
However, the nonprofit I work with, Concordia Place, truly uses their profits with the wellbeing of their community in mind. Concordia Place serves around 800 people a year. They provide childcare, education, teen development programs, English language classes, and home visits for newly expecting mothers. The children, teens, and adults speak a total of 27 different languages. The organization prides itself on being a place of yes, a place where any person can come seeking assistance for themselves or their child and will receive what they need.
The mission of Concordia Place goes hand in hand with one of my most recent classes about the American welfare system. Essentially, in America, the government sets a limit on the amount of money someone can make or possess before they no longer qualify for public assistance. This means that someone making a few dollars over that limit is actually worse off than someone who makes a few dollars below the limit. Concordia Place recognizes that many families struggle to pay for childcare, but cannot receive the benefits granted to others due to governmental restrictions. They address this problem by offering sliding scale tuition, which allows families above the poverty line to apply for a reduced rate in whatever service they are seeking. They call this “funding the gap”; giving extra assistance to those too poor to afford the regular costs, but too wealthy to qualify for public assistance. Not only does Concordia Place provide instant relief for individuals through their programs, but the organization has a long term focus. By increasing the quality of childhood education and the opportunities parents have once they find a safe place for their children during the day, those same families have a higher chance of employment and, hopefully, the ability to generate generational wealth. Concordia Place battles systemic inequality with accessible services that allow for growth in both the child and the parent.
I fully support everything Concordia Place hopes to achieve and I hope I can do everything in my power to contribute to their mission. This being said, I will continue to examine the role of money in my life now that I understand that more wealth can also mean more good. The more funding Concordia Place secures, the more community members they can serve, the more lives they can impact. It seems unlike me to envision a life where I consume myself with the acquisition of money. When I thought about my future as an employee at a nonprofit, I saw myself doing administrative work but with the assumption that money would simply be there to run the organization. However, nonprofits have to fight just like everyone else to maintain enough funding to survive. A fixation on money is not counterproductive to the life-giving mission of a nonprofit, it is absolutely necessary. Through my experiences at this internship and college, I will strive to learn more about the world of fundraising and fund management. I feel grateful to have an experience at an organization like Concordia Place where I can see a true calling for social change in action alongside a mission of extensive fundraising.

Leading up to my first week at BallotReady, I felt concerned about being good enough. I have more soft skills than hard skills. I have a passion for politics, but I felt like an amateur. I quickly learned that there was no need to be so worried. In my first week, I met with my cohort of other interns, both data and engineering, and had meet-and-greets with the whole BallotReady staff. I instantly felt welcome despite the remote setting BallotReady is working in. It was a breath of fresh air to work with and be led by young people who are motivated by and interested in similar things.

Thus far, as a data intern, I have primarily been aiding BallotReady’s Data Team in researching current officeholders across the U.S. as the organization seeks to expand their product to more of a year-round service, not just during election cycles. Data interns also get signed on to other projects like researching voter registration requirements in each state. It is really exciting to me to know that our work is contributing to informed voting for fellow citizens. I was so impressed with my supervisor who exemplified just how important this work is; she told us how she spent an hour exploring Google Maps to find accurate directions to and the address of a polling place in a trailer. It was used by ten voters who, without her directions and hard work, would not have found their polling station to vote. Starting next week, I will be taking up my intern minor project. I will be working with the Director of People and Operations to consolidate their HR information into a new database system. I look forward to continuing to expand my horizons, building my skill set, and furthering my relationships with my supervisors and peers.

In my fourth week on the team, I find myself becoming more confident in my hard skills and I now know that my involvement with civic engagement is what is important, not being an expert. I also truly value the diversity and inclusion practiced at BallotReady. I feel comfortable being myself with my coworkers, communicating and asking questions, and trying new things. One of my goals as a CAPS Fellow is to narrow down what it is that I want to do and what type of roles fit me best. For the past few years, as a Valpo student and Global Service major, I had always thought working at a nonprofit in some sort of capacity was the answer for me. However, with just four weeks as a graduate and BallotReady intern under my belt, I see that there is so much more out there for me. This may sound like the opposite of my aforementioned goal, but it has been extremely insightful to me.

I was given a tour of a normal looking office building, with tall grey cubicles and sounds of fingers steadily typing in the distance. With the pandemic, only a handful of employees are actually in the office. My lovely supervisor brings me around, introducing me, and I try not to show my nervousness. Amongst the chaos of this year, this is the most new people I have met in a really long time. At one point, I say thank you to someone after introducing myself, and I think about it for the next few days hoping she doesn’t remember how awkward I was. I have to remind myself this is part of the process, and it is okay. 

At this point in my experience, I have been with Lutheran Social Services of Illinois (LSSI) for three-ish full weeks, but it feels so much longer. I have the mission statement stuck in my head, and remember to consider it in everything that I do (hence the title). I have met everyone and no one at the same time. I have conducted interviews, written articles, and created flyers and social media posts that will be then sent to the rest of the company. I feel useful. I feel connected in what I’m doing. There are times where it’s difficult to feel like I’m a part of something bigger, working half at home and half in the office. But as soon as I hear a “they really liked what you did” or being mentioned in a staff meeting, I realize how worth it it is. Everyone I have met at LSSI so far has only admiration for their place within the organization and their fellow employees. It’s inspiring. It’s a great work environment to be a part of. We have weekly coffee chats in the morning, my preferred choice of drink is apple juice, and it’s an informal way to get information out to the team. This has been especially important during remote working, and it has been a great way for me to put some names to faces over emails. 

Last week I visited one of the facilities that they are shooting a Youtube virtual tour of, and it was great. After talking with our tour guide, I recognized what sacrifices non-profit organizations have to make in order to do their job well, consistently well. My supervisor took note of some things that need fixing, hoping to bring it to her people and get a donor who could contribute. I loved seeing that initiative take place. Constantly thinking of others and potential solutions. 

With COVID-19, facilities are a little more hesitant to offer tours or meet and greets. Working with the communication and advancement team is exciting because I get to talk to lots of different people across the organizations, taking the time to learn about many different programs, as opposed to being in one branch. Throughout this experience, I’m recognizing how much I like being backstage to the operation, versus being completely hands-on. There’s potential for opportunities where I could be a little more hands-on and compare, that I’m looking forward to. I’m very grateful for the social media and graphics experience I am receiving, because it lets me explore my creative side in a productive way. 

There is so much potential to be had and I can only gain new and exciting learning experiences from here.

I began my internship with the Heartland Alliance last Wednesday, 5/26/21, and have been met with a number of logistical challenges right off the bat. The Monday before my orientation I took the time to attempt to log in to the necessary online portals I would be frequenting as my internship is remote however I was met with screen after screen of dead links. It wasn’t until Thursday that I learned that the Alliance’s IT department was having major outages across several of their servers. Because of this I have thus far been unable to begin many of the tasks of my internship such as reaching out to clients and writing and logging case notes. All communications and video calls with my team have also had to transition from my Heartland Alliance email to my school email that I have access to. Needless to say this has been quite the source of frustration as I was so eager to dive into the world of social work.

Another source of surprise has come from the content of my work thus far which has largely been in the form of reading large quantities of legal documents related to the US refugee system and Heartland’s own policies surrounding their programs. While much of this has been important to understand, and I have learned a great deal from it, it certainly is a deviation from my desire to help the clients in the system; but that will come with time. On the first day of my internship, I met with my supervisor for a brief orientation session where we discussed the importance of the work we do. I was presented with some rather harrowing statistics about the global refugee crisis and watched some videos interviewing refugees to understand their personal experiences through resettlement. According to the UN, there are approximately 80 million forcibly displaced peoples in the world today. Most of these individuals take refuge in UN Refugee camps, which although good in theory ends up looking like tent cities with few resources available for medical or psychological care. Less than half of a percent of these people will successfully resettle in a new home after a rigorous screening process that can take anywhere from 5-20 years.

The knowledge of these struggles has kept me humbled and level-headed throughout the process. I often remember the words of the early 1900s radio host Orson Welles:

“We must each day earn what we own. A healthy man owes to the sick all that he can do for them. An educated man owes to the ignorant all that he can do for them. A free man owes to the world’s slaves all that he can do for them” (1943)

Such has been my reason to pursue this internship and my motivation to see past the comparatively insignificant ailments of the first world. Of course, there is a fine line to walk between humility and delegitimizing one’s personal emotional struggles; however, the fact of the matter is that I can certainly persevere through IT troubles or remote learning environments for the betterment of others. After all, the existence of such problems is evidence of my own privilege in life; and what good is my privilege if it is not used for the betterment of others.