Times of transition. They are different for everyone and people experience them in different ways; however, what usually links them together is the reflection that occurs from going from one chapter of life to another. This summer has been a time of transition for me as I am in the gap of time between being a student and being an “adult”. Graduating from Valpo this past May marked the end of my time as a student and my CAPS experience has been a blessing as it has been the experience that I needed during this time of transition within my life. It has provided me with time for the reflection, growth and self-discovery that is integral following a major chapter of life.

Below is an excerpt from my CAPS personal statement that I wrote as I was applying to the fellowship program:

One of the biggest question that I keep asking myself is how can I help people find their own vocations when I am so uncertain about how to enter into mine? I have found my calling, but I do not know how to get there; I am questioning how I can personally make a difference in the lives of refugees. In today’s political climate I am having a hard time understanding how people can be afraid of individuals who are just trying to live in a place where they feel safe and accepted. I ask myself where is the best place for me to begin working with refugees and immigrants when their future in the United States is so uncertain. Knowing that migrants are people that deserve to be treated with respect, how can I improve the environment in which they are entering into?

How can I improve the environment in which refugees are entering into? The answer I have learned from this summer… by walking alongside them wherever they are in life. These are individuals that are in major times of transitions within their own lives. They have packed their entire lives into a few bags, flew to a new country, and are trying to create lives for themselves in their new home. What I think is so valuable about the work that Heartland Alliance does and how they do it is the fact that they are meeting participants where they are at in their journey of resettlement.

It ranges from extensive interactions during the first few weeks and months upon arrival to assisting in navigating employment changes to times in which the participants ask for guidance down the road. For me, a majority of my interactions with participants occurred during the first few weeks after arriving in Chicago right in the heart of that time of transition. It included navigating social security and public benefits, accompanying to medical appointments, demonstrating how aspects of an apartment work and anything else that needed to be done.

While working with individuals that are going through their own times of transition really helped me in understanding about my own, it put some of my feelings into perspective as everyone goes through these times of transitions within their own lives. Yes, I learned that it is okay to feel scared and nervous. It is okay to feel overwhelmed and lost. It is okay to be excited while also being terrified and it is okay to lean on others and ask for support. This summer I learned that walking alongside refugees as they resettle in the US results in you being the person that they lean on sometimes. For me, I knew that it was okay for me to lean on others for support as well: my family, friends, roommates and the list goes on.

Everyone is going some through time of transition whether that is the time between student and “adult” like myself, a new job, a new relationship, a new health matter or any other new element of life. We all need to be the support for others to lean on just as we have relied on the support of others. One aspect that CAPS has taught me is that we can impact the environment in which the people around us are in just by walking alongside them wherever they are at with their journey especially during their times of transition.

Nearing the end of my summer, work at Heartland Alliance has proven both to be exactly what I expected and exactly what I did not expect. On a practical level, Heartland Alliance functions very similarly to how it was described. It is an underfunded non-profit. When I was originally told at the beginning of the summer that I would be taking participants to social services, health clinics, and completing administrative work, that has all turned out to be exactly true. However, the interaction with coworkers, participants, and the community has been anything but predictable.

Working in an office setting, I had both an expectation and hope for coworkers. Media often portrays office settings as problematic, dog-eat-dog, and full of annoying employees. Shortly after arriving, I realized how naive I was. Non-profits, or at least Heartland, cannot afford to function in this manner. The interdependence between departments at Heartland creates both a supportive work environment, but also one that can be slow as participants often cannot move towards independence without the backing of the whole office. If it weren’t for nice coworkers who were patient, work would be unbearable.

Secondly, working with the participants has been different than anticipated. Going into the job at Heartland Alliance, I expected to meet a population different than any I had encountered. I have worked with refugees from Central America in the past, but had not had the privilege of working with immigrants from elsewhere in the world. As I have spent more time with the participants (primarily from Africa and Asia), learning about their culture and way of life, getting insight into their histories, and talking with them about their lived experiences have taught me much about the world. Many participants have showed me videos describing their home countries and friends back home. This brings an extremely human element to hot button issue that is talked about in the news. The similarities between my family and theirs far outweigh the differences. Some citizens of the United States have a misconception about refugees draining social services of funding they have not paid into. This could not be further from the truth. I have not met a single participant feeling a sense of entitlement to any assistance they receive. More than anything, the refugees want to get off social services and become dependent from the help of the government. Finding a job and contributing to the United States becomes the number one goal for participants, which reminds me of anyone graduating college. This highlights a great similarity between the culture of the United States and refugees new to the country, and acts as a reminder that we share more than simply being human.

The DMV, Public Aid, Social Security Office, and health clinics, among many others, get terrible representation in the world. Although they provide services that are essential to most Americans, they are only thought of as slow bureaucratic offices never looking to help. I’d like to serve as a nice reminder that many countries do not have these institutions that help the United States run much more smoothly, and we should be thankful even during the frustration of interaction.

Ultimately, this summer has both a living and learning experience. I won’t say it was life-changing or that I am a whole new person coming out of this summer, but I will look at the world a little differently.

You can learn a lot about a person by looking at their face. The face is a portal to one’s soul; it shows what they are feeling and thinking. These past few weeks I have looked into the faces of many individuals who have just made a huge, courageous leap of faith by moving to and settling into the United States as a refugee. Working at Heartland Alliance’s Refugee and Immigrant Community Services (RICS) office, I have had the privilege to look into many faces of hope.

RICS is a refugee resettlement agency that works with refugees from airport pick-up when they arrive in Chicago to navigating public transportation to English class to assisting with public benefits and government services to searching for employment and the list goes on. I am specifically a Case Management intern which means that I am helping our participants extensively within the first 90 days of arrival by helping to make sure basic needs are met and after the 90 days helping to guide the participants to self-sufficiency. For me every day is different as I could be doing a combination of a variety of tasks. Everything from accompanying participants to the Department of Family Services office to receive public benefits, to the Secretary of State’s office to acquire a State ID, to conducting home visits to ensure our participants have everything they need, to helping a new family learn how to use the CTA to get from their home to the office, to assisting with the mounds of paperwork that is required for grant-funded and federal funded nonprofits, and the list goes on. At RICS they say that no two days are the same and that is 100% true.

Throughout these last few weeks, I have had the privilege of seeing faces of bravery, strength, courage, determination, fear, anxiety, but most of all hope. Hope is something that is so powerful. It has the ability to encourage someone to take a leap of faith in order for the possibility of something better on the other side. It has the powers of motivation and calming sense of reassurance that you are doing the right thing. It provides comfort when times are difficult while also inspiring someone to do something big. Hope is a funny little four letter word, but one that encompasses all these emotions and more.

The participants at RICS have faces that are filled with hope. It is that hope that accompanies single mothers with their children, families where some family members do not make the move, those who leave their entire support network and come alone, and those fighting for a better chance. Although other emotions such as fear, anxiety, and stress flash across faces, there is always a glimmer of hope that can be seen.

It is that glimmer of hope and the flash of a smile that bridges cultures and communities together. It brings people from the Eritrea, Afghanistan, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Pakistan, Syria, Burma, and the United States together. It exceeds language barriers and allows one another to be linked; linked together through shared or similar experiences. It is a face of hope that encourages me to do what I do and it is a face of hope that shines bright on the participants face as they understand and settle into what their life here in the United States will be.

Following are portraits of RICS participants by Pam Ingalls. They were shown in a show entitled “Facing the New US” at Heartland Alliance in honor of World Refugee Day. The artist’s website is pamingalls.com.

Coming to Chicago, my life felt utterly different. Growing up in a rural town in Ohio, all I have known is cornfields, pastures, and knowing every neighbor. While those things definitely have their advantages and disadvantages, pulling up to my apartment was exciting. I honestly felt as if I didn’t deserve to be getting the treatment of living in the Loop. This was just the beginning of my getting acclimated to the city. Part of my excitement soon turned into frustration as the first place I went to buy milk charged $5.00 a gallon. Nevertheless, I knew once I established a routine (and found a reasonably priced grocery store) I would begin to feel more at home.

The second day in Chicago was a day preparing me to navigate the city. I practiced my route to work, taking the brown line to and from Heartland Alliance. Heartland Alliance is an organization where many CAPS fellows have worked before. Their tagline “Ending Poverty” illustrates the broad range of services the non-profit offers. The refugee and immigrant community services (RICS) office, which I am working in for the summer, helps refugees, immigrants, and asylees integrate in the United States. As a public health major, helping program participants access all of these services is vitally important to promote health amongst the population.

Arriving at my first day of work, about 20 participants sat in the lobby waiting to go on an employment trip, looking to get their first job in the United States. It became clear that this would not be an average internship, but an opportunity unparalleled. As with most placements, the first day consisted of getting accustomed to the office and doing necessary paperwork to ensure I’m not a felon. My co-workers were wonderfully accommodating. They invited me to lunch and gave me a complete rundown of all of the best deals in the neighborhood. As the afternoon came around, my work began to slow. This was not because there was little to be done, but the opposite. My boss and co-workers were extremely busy and did not have long chunks of time to dedicate to training an intern.

As the week has gone on, I have started to pick up on quite a bit. I have had the chance to help out the organization by creating case files, going on home visits, traveling with a family to pick up prescriptions, amongst many other activities. For someone who has only been to Chicago twice before and never using public transportation, I now feel as if I have been doing so for years. Looking forward, I am excited to see where the next nine weeks take me. Acting as an assistant case manager, I will have the opportunity to work with numerous families and learn about the rigorous, and at times defeating, process people go through for a better life in the United States.

My life feels dramatically different than a week ago in my hometown. Living on my own for the first time, in the third biggest city in the country, with no pressing matters outside of work, I’m undeniably gaining a new perspective on the world. This inspirational work will be guiding me this summer. Although there is no guarantee that this is the workplace, lifestyle, or city I want to end up in, I nonetheless know I am humbled by the work I will be doing this summer. By the end I hope to see in a new light.

-Ty Snarr, Heartland Alliance

In my last blog, I was feeling a lot of stress. I was struggling with one of my biggest weaknesses: anxiety. Although my internship always keeps me on my toes, I eventually got into the rhythm of things. Psychologically, I think it helped that there were interns that started after me who I guided. For example, I taught them about different trips and what documents to bring (such documents to apply for a social security card). I gained confidence because that proved to me that I was retaining reliable knowledge while at RICS.  As gained more confidence in my actions, I was able to relax more, better reflect on my experiences, and enjoy my time with the participants* and my coworkers.

When I was first here, I thought about whether or not moving to the US was worth it for some of the participants. It seemed so dismal at the time,  coming to a new place where you don’t know the language or culture. I was blessed when I went abroad that I had such a big support system, composed of people who were not only familiar with the culture but loved and cared for me, wishing the best for me. And I had them with me every day, available for whenever I needed them. Yet, I still struggled. To come here and not have that kind of support seemed incredibly difficult. To also have a language barrier seemed impossible. To call this strange place your new home seemed a recipe for depression.

From my limited observations, I think that the first few weeks are the worst. After that, the participants seem to start forming lasting relationships with other participants and staff members and learn more English. After a few months, they eligible to apply for a job, the key to their independence. Although they may go through a lot of pain, the participants can and do overcome. This is very admirable, but I came to realize that these participants are not extraordinary. They are determined, strong, and smart. They are determined to make the best of their life, simply trying every day for themselves and their families. Their strength helps them endure the challenges they continuously face. And they are smart because they allow and strive to learn more on a daily basis. And they are not unique.

I am not trying to minimize their situation or even ignore the fact that they are the 1% of refugees that are actually resettled, but I do want to recognize that the determination, strength, and knowledge that they use in their day to day life is something found in human behavior. Something amazing about human beings is our resilience. To clarify, I’m not saying that there aren’t people whose success is attributed to uncontrolled privileges, chance, or miracles. In fact, I think that all aspects of life are affected by circumstances that an individual can’t control. This is also not meant to glorify struggles brought by injustice and inhumane treatment.  I am saying we are capable of amazing things. You may think to yourself, “I don’t know how she/he can do it; I could never do it.” These people didn’t accept their circumstances as a challenge, it was forced on them. Survival is partially choice, but it’s also a reflex.

In particular, I think about a family that I meant in the first few weeks of me being at RICS and their first time being in the U. S.  I remembered how scared they look. I had no idea what was going on in their minds. Did they feel regret, overwhelmed, fearful? As time went by I was able to witness a change. They became more confident in where they were going and what they were doing. They learned more English and were happy to have a conversation with me, even if there were misunderstandings. Time went by so fast that I didn’t even realize how much they were progressing each day. It seemed like all of a sudden they were in high spirits, progressing and learning more. Even when things went wrong (which they often did with me frequently guiding them to a place I’ve never been to), they didn’t show anger or frustration.

But I’m not ignorant of the people that aren’t as happy as them. It’s not to say that those participants are failing, their path is just different. They’re adapting to their situation in a different way. This blog seems to be the result of me recognizing the struggles of other, but not pitying them or not giving them the credit they deserve. I think that realizing how “privileged” people are, can mistake our lives as being better than others. What is a successful life, anyways? However, we should still recognize poverty as a global, human being issue and strive for equality and opportunity for all, as Heartland Alliance does. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m making any sense here. This is just something that has been on my mind. I’m trying to figure it out and articulate my thought process, but I’m not sure if I’m losing you along the way. I’m sure someone more experienced than me could look at this and point out my ignorance.

Satu, dua, tiga…

This past Friday was our final day of Refugee Youth Summer Program here at Heartland Alliance- a day filled with many emotions, from exuberant pride at the growth and confidence of our kids, to humbling gratitude at the opportunity to work with them each day, and finally the acute sadness that accompanies difficult goodbyes.

For the last six weeks, I’ve waited in front of the Howard Jewel-Osco in Rogers Park for our youth to come out to summer program, based this year around the theme “Every Voice Matters”  (“camp” is not used by Heartland due to its potentially retraumatizing connotations). Kids between 5-15 years old from countries such as Syria, Eritrea, Burma, and Central African Republic- many of whom are relatively recent arrivals to the United States- are invited to summer program as an opportunity to build relationships, promote familiarization with their greater Chicago community, assist with English language acquisition, and provide a trauma-informed space to process experiences in a safe and supportive environment.  Each day, myself and fellow Heartland staff hop on public transit with our “Howard Crew” kids to go meet up with the rest of our 40+ person summer program group- rotating daily between engaging in planned activities, heading to the beach, facilitating support groups, playing soccer with other refugee resettlement agencies, and participating in field trips in the Chicago area.

Baking cookies in pizza box solar ovens for “science day,” which I had the opportunity to coordinate and lead. Our word of the day was “experiment;” we also made DIY lava lamps and slime!

Throughout the summer, I often found myself counting to three (as done in Malay at the beginning of this post).  Sometimes this was done silently to myself, accompanied by a deep breath on a jam-packed rush hour bus with 20+ tired out children in tow who “are sitting down, we promise!” (as they stand in the middle of the bus aisle); during others, it was yelled with enthusiasm when leading a group game of four corners. I‘ve used it to de-escalate conflict, navigate passionate outbursts of emotion, and learn new languages from our participants. As I prepare to head to Malaysia come January, I’ve been especially privileged to be able to start learning Malay from some of our Rohingya girls, and turned these numbers into a game with one participant- for every new number or phrase she taught me in Malay, I would teach her one in English. Whenever something happened that made her sad, I’d start counting as fast I could in Malay (always messing up), which usually provoked a laugh or smile even on difficult days.   

It’s fairly intimidating to show up to work everyday knowing that you’re engaging with kids who are braver, kinder, and more intelligent than you’ll probably ever be. The youth that I’ve had the privilege of growing close with this summer are quite literally some of the strongest kids in the entire world- coming from backgrounds of persecution and oppression only to enter a country that continues to place their identities under attack. A country where they are given next to nothing (and are actually forced to undertake debt just to arrive here- refugee families take out loans to cover their own airfare) but must integrate into a society that overall rejects their unique cultures, languages, and religious backgrounds as “unamerican” and further marginalizes based on skin color. A country who only provides around $1000 per family member to start an entirely new life (think about how this compares to cost of living in the city of Chicago) with an administration that is actively cutting funding for needed social services, ironically requiring many families to move to areas of heightened violence; oftentimes the very thing they seek to escape. Our participants come into a nation that overall does not value the skills and educational backgrounds of the refugees who enter it and incorrectly equates intelligence with english language proficiency, prompting refugees to work multiple low paying jobs at once to make ends meet, all while stigmatizing these individuals as a “threat” (even though it takes years and countless screenings to legally obtain refugee status) and victim-blaming these same individuals for “burdening” one of the wealthiest nations in the world (even though refugees have no personal say in where they are resettled and actually pay more money back in taxes than they will ever receive from the federal government).

Our phenomenal Youth and Family Services team, who are constantly lifting one another up with their wisdom, support, and of course food

And yet, despite all this and so much more, our kids arrive each day with the ability to laugh genuinely, advocate for one another, care deeply for those around them, and ask critical questions of the world in which they live. It’s quite frankly a resilience unlike any other, and I look up to each of them immensely.  Given all that I’ve learned from these individuals, I was kidding myself when I thought that I could do tearless goodbyes. And when it was time to leave (and the presumed adult teacher version of Miss Emily was trying hard, but unsuccessfully, not to lose it), it was my turn to hear a “satu, dua, tiga…” coming from my ten-year-old friend.

Since this is my first blog, I’ll introduce myself. Hello, I’m Alicia, and I want to be an advocate for human trafficking survivors. It’s always a little awkward for me when I tell people my career aspirations. Human trafficking it’s exactly a light dinner conversation people expect when they ask me, “what do you want to do after graduation?” It may seem like I’m being unnecessarily specific, but I’m actually expanding my options. In high school I wanted to be a psychologist that specializes in healing trauma caused by human trafficking; however, VU has helped me broaden my career horizon while still centering it around human trafficking survivors. I could work as a lawyer, a policy maker, a researcher, an FBI intelligence analyst, or a caseworker. This why I find myself interning under caseworkers at Heartland Alliance’s Refugee and Immigrant Community Services (RICS). While this internship has been interpersonally and emotionally challenging; it has helped me grow in self-awareness and awareness of refugees and asylees.

Through this internship, I’ve learned more about the refugee process, specifically the resettlement process. I’ve seen first hand some of the difficulties that immigrants and asylees encounter. I’ve often found myself thinking about how I would feel if I had to live in a country I can’t easily communicate. I know their journey can be dismal and hopelessness at times, and I wonder if they think the immigration is or will be worth it. When I encounter families, in particular, I’m reminded of my own family. They made me think of my grandfather and his immigration to the U.S. For the first time, I thought about the challenges that he went through. All that I have in the U.S.—my very existence—is because of his decision to move here despite not knowing much English or having any family here. Even though I can’t talk to him now, I feel so fortunate to be doing something that positively affects other people coming to the U. S.

Because of how RICS teams function, I am able to contribute to the workload as an intern in a measurable way that is not overwhelming. I’m surrounded by people that have the same goal of helping others in the most compassionate and effective way. The type of people these jobs attract and the way this workplace is structured gives me the opportunity to be apart of the most supportive, encouraging, understanding, and well-communicated group of people that I’ve ever worked with. I’m given space to learn how I can make a meaningful impact on participants* and improve my interactions with them.  

This is especially important for me not only because of my ancestry but because of my identity as a U. S. citizen. Recently, I heard someone say that the separation of families at the border is not a Trump administration problem. It’s a problem that all of the U. S. is responsible for. The lack of compassion in our actions (or lack of actions) toward refugees and asylees is and has been a tragedy. At our highest intake of refugees (when we accepted more refugees than any other county recorded), we still accepted less than 1% of refugees around the world. I feel so fortunate that I’m able to talk to people about my internship and incite compassion for these fellow human being. I feel fortunate that I’m able to share this with you, my reader, and people I have and will meet with.

There is, however, an obstacle I face that inhibits my capability of maximizing my efforts: anxiety. At Heartland Alliance it’s important to create a welcoming environment for the participants by knowing the participants by name, greeting them when you see them, and asking them how they are doing. It’s also important to create a friendly environment for fellow coworkers. This is a challenge for me because I get more anxiety than the average person during certain social interactions. For example, I get a great deal of anxiety from names; pronouncing someone’s name wrong, calling them the wrong name, or completely forgetting someone’s name genuinely bring me fear because I feel like I’m unintentionally insulting someone and/or making them feel insignificant. I can work on and manage anxieties like that, but it can be exhausting to manage from 9am to 5pm for 4-5 days a week. 

Based on this experience, being a case manager for human trafficking survivors might not be the career for me; however, I think it’s still too early to be sure. I have no doubt that being a case manager for human trafficking survivors would give me a more holistic understanding of human trafficking survivors. Long term, I might be more comfortable with a job that specializes in helping them with one thing (such as mental health) instead of managing their entire case. That way, I can focus on the participant for a prolonged amount of time and help with the specifics of their mental, legal, or ect case. However, my opinions on this may change. Only time and experience will tell.

*Participants are the refugee and immigrants coming to the office. Heartland Alliance uses this term as a reminder to the employees and the participants that the participants are not just passively receiving services; they are expected to actively be involved in attaining their goals.

“I get to do this every day.”

This thought has echoed within my mind repeatedly over the course of the last few weeks, carrying through the Chicago view from my apartment window, to the neighborhoods surrounding my brown line L commute, to the community-style lunches enjoyed by my department each day that bring together different cultures, flavors, and perspectives. I am reminded of it when I hear and learn new languages from my office desk, and when I witness the kind of joy that can only come from a two-year old ready to run outside to play. And though my first few weeks in Youth and Family Services have consisted more or less of blindly stumbling around while simultaneously trying to pretend that I actually know what’s going on, I remain thankful that I stumbled into Heartland.  During these first few weeks in Chicago with Heartland Alliance’s Refugee and Immigrant Community Services team, I have had ample opportunity to reflect on the post-graduate transitions and new beginnings that, while new and exciting and overwhelming and meaningful, can also be difficult and stressful. This relatively very small transition on my part pales in comparison to the types of transitions that our participants are making–transitions to a new country, culture, language, and community, among so many other things. Coming into my internship, I knew that Heartland worked to help provide a space for the latter among our participants and staff- a space for community- but I am each day more fully beginning to realize the type of community that I myself am entering during this time of transition. Heartland is inherently relational in both philosophy and practice; something that I both resonate with and am constructively challenged by each day.  Living out inherently relational sometimes means setting aside immediate tasks in favor of conversation with a participant, prioritizing people over productivity, and knowing that people can and must take that priority. These moments act as reminders that help me more fully engage in the relationships I claim to strive for, redefining my previous notions of professionalism in a way that prompts me personally to grow.

In building these relationships, part of my work with Youth and Family Services involves K-12 extracurricular programming, meaning that last Wednesday, we hosted our annual Girl Power Pajama Jam (find a cooler work event, I dare you). During GPPJ, I had the opportunity to listen to, laugh with, and learn from some brilliant young women all while wearing PJs, eating pizza, and focusing on the theme “girls can do anything!” It is a unique privilege to be surrounded by women from all over the world, to witness them form friendships as they go, and to be simultaneously welcomed into those friendships (but maybe most importantly, to hear the incessant laughter that follows a 15-passenger van jam out session post-pajama party).  

Yet our participants not only welcome us into their lives, but their homes, sharing stories and personal space. On a recent home visit, being granted the opportunity to enjoy tea with a Syrian family, we chatted about family and summer and Chicago, and I was asked about my recent move. After sharing that I appreciated my time in the city and at Heartland, a question was posed with sincere concern: “but do you have friends?”  

Coincidentally, life also happens to be inherently relational, and it looks like this summer, I’ll be learning about priorities. I look forward to continuing to learn from my friends at Heartland Alliance.