CAPS Fellows Blog

“Responding to the Gospel…” by Emily Gaus

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I was given a tour of a normal looking office building, with tall grey cubicles and sounds of fingers steadily typing in the distance. With the pandemic, only a handful of employees are actually in the office. My lovely supervisor brings me around, introducing me, and I try not to show my nervousness. Amongst the chaos of this year, this is the most new people I have met in a really long time. At one point, I say thank you to someone after introducing myself, and I think about it for the next few days hoping she doesn’t remember how awkward I was. I have to remind myself this is part of the process, and it is okay.  At this point in my experience, I have been with Lutheran Social Services of Illinois (LSSI) for three-ish full weeks, but it feels so much longer. I have the mission statement stuck […]

Patience is a Virtue by Nick Skrobul

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I began my internship with the Heartland Alliance last Wednesday, 5/26/21, and have been met with a number of logistical challenges right off the bat. The Monday before my orientation I took the time to attempt to log in to the necessary online portals I would be frequenting as my internship is remote however I was met with screen after screen of dead links. It wasn’t until Thursday that I learned that the Alliance’s IT department was having major outages across several of their servers. Because of this I have thus far been unable to begin many of the tasks of my internship such as reaching out to clients and writing and logging case notes. All communications and video calls with my team have also had to transition from my Heartland Alliance email to my school email that I have access to. Needless to say this has been quite the […]

First Days at LINC Ministries by Elizabeth Nevarez

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It was a hot May day when I moved into my Chicago bungalow, two mornings prior to my first day at LINC Ministries Int’l Inc. LINC Ministries is a nonprofit organization that provides nontraditional church ministry to urban areas. This nonprofit finds ministry leaders and church partners to equip in serving others. They focus on spiritual community, personal development, ministry development, organizational support, and resource networks in order to establish well suited leaders for those in need. LINC Ministries has seven different locations in the nation– Chicago being the newest addition. I am the first intern at the Chicago location, all thanks to the CAPS Fellows Program. Upon hearing that I would be working at LINC, I was filled with passion, excitement, and nervousness, as this would be my first experience working for a nonprofit organization, let alone, a formal job. My previous work experience was as a camp counselor: […]

A Fresh and Clearly Set Start by Michael Olson

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The process of a fresh and clearly set start can be paralyzing. The CAPS Fellowship is no exception as I, among many other fellows, attempt to settle into our respective placements and make an unique impact. A quote from Buddha tells us “There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth… not going all the way, and not starting.” My main worry when beginning my fellowship was being unable to get out of my shell as a person. Being viewed as somebody who is untrustworthy or incompetent for my inability to get comfortable within my space felt like my greatest fear. While starting well may be difficult for myself personally, along with many others, I am proud to state that I have been doing well to show my full self to Kheprw throughout my first two weeks. For a short synopsis, I spent my first week bouncing […]

To A Future CAPS Fellow by Justin McClain

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It has been two weeks since I finished my internship with Heartland Alliance on the case management team. Another case management intern, Marie Dix, wrote the blog post, “Unfinished,” and her words beautifully captured some of the thoughts currently racing through my mind: the positive staff culture I’ll miss, the systemic injustices refugees face, and the connections to families I now have to let go. With my final blog post, I want to leave a message to future CAPS Fellows:   I am not sure how I will capture everything I want to say, but I suppose the easiest place to start is at the beginning. The application process for the CAPS Fellowship is not a hard process, but, just like the internship itself, you get out what you put in. It definitely makes you take a moment to close your eyes and envision the future you want. I, like […]

Uncertainty, Discernment, and Discovery by Lydia Knorp

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As I reflect on my time at Heartland Alliance, many thoughts and emotions come to mind; the most prominent being gratitude. I came into this internship seeking clarity. Whether it be clarity regarding the path I want to pursue or a deeper understanding of what I do not enjoy, I was hoping to find meaning in this experience.  This feeling of gratitude that I mentioned is for the gift of clarity that Heartland Alliance has blessed me with. I came into my internship confident and still am certain that I have found my home in the field of Social Work. However, in a vast field, I had struggled to pinpoint my passions within the field. Working with refugees at Heartland Alliance is something I thought I would enjoy, but I had no idea how much I would come to love it. There is something special about working with people from […]

Just the Intern by Emily Friedman

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At my job, I’ve been doing a lot of sanitizing and temperature taking. Part of my uniform includes a smock, face shield, face mask, and rubber gloves. If we didn’t have these precautions, I would not have been able to work in-person at The Bridge Teen Center. COVID-19 has made us rethink how we host student programs. Prior to the pandemic, The Bridge offered drop-in hours for students and hosted signature events that could have accommodated hundreds of students. Now students must pre-register for events which have limited capacity. They are required to wear masks, wash their hands before entering the building, get their temperature taken, and answer a few questions about their health. In the program, students must sit six feet apart from each other and cannot share materials. At first, it was an adjustment. Not only did students have to learn a new routine, but they also had […]

Unfinished by Marie Dix

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This is the last of my 11 weeks with the refugee case management team at Heartland Alliance. I admit there is much about this remote work that I won’t miss: being on hold for 15 minutes with an insurance company, realizing that the reason my coworkers were ignoring me was because I was muted, and the frustration of being “it” in games of four way telephone tag between clients, interpreters, and other offices. There’s even more that I will miss though: my coworkers (and the gifs they send in our Microsoft Teams chat), the families I’ve come to know, and the opportunities to learn about the world without leaving my bedroom.   My sphere of awareness grew beyond the four walls of my cozy suburban house to encompass the ongoing genocides in Myanmar/Burma, the torture and murder of LGBTQ people in many African nations and the harsh realities of rebuilding […]

A Post-Hard Pants Society by Elizabeth Palmer

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A couple weeks into quarantine, when we still had the emotional bandwidth to joke about it, I recall seeing someone’s husband enjoying his new life in sweatpants, vowing never to wear “hard pants” (jeans) again. Approaching my fifth month sans hard pants, I’ve been trying to reflect on what I’m going to take with me from this chapter. Will I ever wear jeans again? How many more holes can I possibly poke into my ears? Will the existential dread that reared its head in March ever go away? Will I ever feel safe in public without a mask on? What’s the point of having my nose pierced if nobody can see it? When the social constraint of hard pants left, so did my ability to really check in with myself. I have a million thoughts in my brain, but once I actually sit down and try to work through them, […]

Thoughts on Reflection by Gabe Martinez

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This summer has been very different from previous years. Although the circumstances for this summer have not been ideal, it has created the best environment for reflection. I am a person who dislikes free time because it gives me time to think about everything. A lot of overthinking has been done in these three months. All this thinking is overwhelming because there’s no structure, and my mind likes to spiral down during these moments. My goal for this summer was to better my reflection skills. Through CAPS I have been able to do that through peer reflect ins, mentor meetings, and these blog posts. I have found that whenever I feel overwhelmed the best way to get rid of that feeling was through writing. I have never been a fan of journaling because I always enjoyed talking to people about it (in person), but due to COVID-19 that wasn’t possible. […]

Colorism by Willet Debrah

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I met my best friend, Marglucy Omwega, in the 4th grade. We both arrived in America around the same time. She came from Kanya. I came from Ghana.  The only thing we had in common was the darkness of our skin. Throughout our school years, people would often confuse our names or would ask if we were sisters. From an early age, we recognized how differently people treated us, including our peers.  People would tell us that “we were too pretty to be dark-skinned,” as if we couldn’t be dark and beautiful. Society made it clear that there was something more appealing to lighter skin and boys in school made sure that we were aware of their preferences. In elementary school and middle school we both faced bullying. It wasn’t until high school that we embraced our beauty and recognized that we are God’s masterpiece. Beautifully and wonderfully made in […]

Let the World Come to You by Kiera Pratt

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As I was speaking with my CAPS alumni mentor this past week, he shared a story and the essence of this story is to be content with letting the world come to you, which is exactly the point my mentor was trying to get across as I expressed the somewhat indecisiveness I have towards my career plan. He goes on to share a story about a woman who was riding on the train and received a call from her boss asking her to contact someone.  Overwhelmed with yet another task to complete, she happened to look up from her phone, gaze down the aisle of the train car, and to her dismay see the person she was asked to contact. A perfect example of letting the world come to you.     Oftentimes as college students I think we are taught to be proactive, network, and seek out great resume building […]

Your Environment by Akira Kennedy

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There are a lot of things that have a subconscious or conscious impact on you. Waking up to it being a gloomy day versus a sunny day affects you. The way someone says something to you, or your outfit of the day. Over the course of these past few months I have had the time to acknowledge these subtle changes in my day, and how they can drastically change my mood. I started only picking out clothes that I wanted to wear, so that I can have that extra ounce of confidence. I noticed the difference in mood when I did not get fresh air and when I did. The difference of one less hour of sleep. Right now I am noticing how my bedroom does not fit my current needs and plays a big part in the lack of motivation I have been feeling since quarantine started. It took […]

Tip of the Iceberg by Christy Craig

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I have just finished up week 6 of my fellowship at The Village at Rockville (TVAR) with 2 weeks left to go. It’s rather surreal. Yesterday feels like my first day, yet I’ve learned so much since then. Admittedly, the first several weeks were quite difficult. I tried to be optimistic, but a huge part of me felt like a failure. I struggled to communicate effectively with my supervisor and thus I didn’t know what was required of me, let alone when or how I should go about doing it. That being said, I knew deep down that this experience was stretching me in the best way.    A big part of this discomfort, I think, was transitioning from an educational setting to a work setting. As someone who has always felt comfortable in school, adjusting to work life was uncomfortable to say the least. As an illustration, in school, […]

Wondering and Deciding by Ashley Winiewicz

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What do you think it would have been like, you know all of us sitting in the office working together this summer? A question the interns often find ourselves asking one another during our online meetings. We wonder if we would be more efficient working at desk next to each other or if our side chats would turn into endless hours of conversation. As questions pile up about how the internship would have been it’s evident these thoughts will have to continue to wander in our minds as we continue working from home under the same mission, values, and goals of our company. Despite the numerous what-if questions regarding how the internship, recent conversations with my CAPS mentors have left me pondering on my next step after graduation. The next big what-if consists of making the decision for life post-undergrad and what will be the right decision. Though, what I […]

Dissolving the American Dream by Thespina Dabagia

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            My CAPS fellowship has led me to working as an intern for the Interfaith Community for Detained Immigrants which is a non-profit, faith-based organization out of Chicago, Illinois. We are comprised of staff and hundreds of volunteers who respond to the suffering of people, families, and communities affected by the immigration system in this country. ICDI runs five programs that respond to the various needs of people in and after detention; jail visitation ministry, court watch, deportation accompaniment, Chicago Immigrant Transit Assistance/Hotline, and the Unaccompanied Children’s Interfaith Ministry. Though my internship with ICDI may be non-traditional because of COVID-19, it has been nothing short of extraordinary. I have spent time reading immigration court reports and learning about non-profit financial management in times like these. I have also spent time researching nationwide community contacts that we can provide as resources when we welcome formerly detained people at the bus station. […]

A Changed Fourth of July by Justin McClain

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As I write this blog post, my parents are having a conversation about what my family is going to grill on Saturday to celebrate our nation’s independence, my sister is outside working on her tan so she can get the perfect Instagram picture, and I have a countdown ticking away on my phone to when Hamilton drops on Disney+. My life probably mirrors many other lives across the United States today; people are changing their Fourth of July plans to fit the restraints of the pandemic and wrapping up their work for the three-day weekend, but there is one major difference. I cannot stop thinking about the millions of people in camps across the world who are anxiously awaiting approval to seek refuge in a country like the United States.   I am not trying to get political, but I am going to state a few facts that I have […]

An African Girl by Willet Debrah

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Hi, my name is Willet Debrah, and I’ve been working alongside Water To Thrive this summer. My blog is based on a documentary on childhood marriage in Africa. This poem may be triggering to some people as it expresses  violence and/or assault. I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to explore the challenges faced in African communities, which I am no stranger to, spending my childhood in Ghana. I hope to illuminate the reality of oppression that women often face being raised through this poem especially the lack of education for younger girls and childhood marriage:   An African Girl    The first thing an African girl is taught  Is not that she is beautiful, Is not that she is capable, Is not that she is brave, Is not that she can be the best she could possibly be  But rather,  She is taught that she is not her own She is […]

Civil Unrest and Digital Rights by Elizabeth Palmer

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In the past four weeks, ● I’ve been unironically listening to “Earth” by Lil Dicky; ● I accidentally got a caffeine addiction because I found the perfect way to make a chai in the morning; ● I’ve considered dropping out and becoming a beekeeper enough times that it seems like it may actually be a good idea; ● I watched Queer Eye’s new season in one sitting and had an out-of-body experience; ● I got an “under his eye” face mask that I’m probably too excited about; and ● I’ve been working on getting my “Liz energy” back by reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle (it’s working).   I’m about halfway through my CAPS Fellowship at Internews in Washington, D.C. I’ve been working from my parents’ house in Kouts, IN, quarantining with a close group of friends, attending protests, and hanging out with my dogs and nephew.   My main role […]

Lost in Translation by Marie Dix

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During my first few weeks working with the refugee case management team at Heartland Alliance, I would tell my curious friends and family (partly joking) that I call people I don’t know in languages I don’t speak to help connect them with services I know little about. Every day that assessment becomes a little less true, as with each encounter I get to know our families better and learn the ins and outs of services SSI and SNAP and WIC. Although I’ve become fluent in social service acronyms, I haven’t made much progress on my Swahili, Pashto, or Arabic, so I guess my original statement will always be a little true! I will forever be grateful for our skilled, generous, and endlessly patient interpreters.    I have always been less comfortable on the phone than in person, and the first few calls I made, though well intentioned, were awkward and […]