Expectations, Elations, and Alliteration

Although I have already arrived here in Cambridge, I thought I would put something I wrote before I left as my first post. This basically tells you a little bit about me as well as explains what I was hoping to get out of my study abroad experience:

Within the cushiony confines of my mind, I always like to entertain the idea that I’m brave. I would skydive, trek through mountains, scale down buildings, get sorted into Gryffindor, slay a dragon— I submit my daydreams as evidence. But inevitably I remember the truth. I’ll see a spider dangling from the ceiling or something and remember that panicking and I are on a first-name basis. I’m scared of storms (at least I’m situated in the Midwest, a stone’s throw from tornado alley..), flying, insects that look like they could eat small animals, and Quentin Tarantino to a certain extent. Far from courageous, I tend to spend my downtime snuggled up with my roommate watching New Girl.

Thankfully, author John Maxwell in all his wisdom offers some consolation: “Courage isn’t an absence of fear. It’s doing what you are afraid to do. It’s having the power to let go of the familiar and forge ahead into new territory.” And so I applied to study abroad: let the forging begin. I don’t mean to paint myself as a hermit who’s too scared to experience life. I’ve travelled a lot before, mostly to Europe, at different ages and with different people. I have hiked and zip-lined and traveled via dogsled. But all my trips have been no more than two weeks in length. They’ve been escapes, temporary departures from my customary life and self. My time in Cambridge won’t be an escape or a visit; I will be living in England for four months, buying groceries and going to school. If studying is involved, it can hardly be called an escape. I know that there will be moments when I will be nervous, frustrated, and homesick. But the mindset is that there will be infinitely more moments of excitement, contentment, and growth that only a place like England can give me.

This is a travel journal Bryn got me for Christmas!

As a (wannabe) writer, I seem to be perpetually in pursuit of a too elusive prize: inspiration. I feel like a villain in those old cartoons where I’m sprinting to the point of exhaustion while the scene behind me keeps repeating itself, and still I come out unsuccessful. Again and again I try to articulate the jumbled ideas in my mind through beautifully-crafted sentences. But the words don’t come. The inspiration and motivation to write what and how I want is not always present in a musty dorm room. But countless poets and novelists have made England their muse. From breathtaking nature to cobblestone streets of small towns to London’s unique mix of history and modernity, England offers inspiration at every corner. I need this jolt from my familiar Valpo life to a place immortalized in poetry and literature. Although I know that I will still need focus and willpower in England to succeed in my writing endeavors, I believe that either inspiration will finally stop running from me or I will gain the motivation to speed up and catch it.

Apart from honing my personal writing skills, I want to meet new people and learn about their cultures. I don’t like being stereotyped as the typical American who doesn’t know that there is more going on outside of her smartphone or friend group, let alone beyond the oceans surrounding her. I admit that being an American makes me short-sighted sometimes, and there is honestly so much about politics that I fail to grasp. But by leaving home and experiencing and understanding the cultures and lifestyles of other countries, I learn more about the world around me, both its suffering and triumphs, as well as better form my own beliefs. It’s important to befriend people who have different values and opinions than yourself. They challenge you to defend your beliefs and give you bits of their wisdom and insight in the process. It turns out humans can be pretty symbiotic when they want to.

I know during this journey, I will make mistakes, cry for my mommy, and just have those miserable days. I am bound to lose something valuable, and I know the weather won’t exactly be a pick-me-up. But I am willingly exchanging the sun-kissed trend for the sun-snubbed look (and if that isn’t firm proof of my dedication, I don’t know what is). I want to learn and grow and make friends. I want to explore and laugh and be spontaneous..even if it means death-gripping my best friend’s hand the entire flight to Heathrow.

Danielle