Uncertainty and the Unknown

Being a foreigner, particularly an American, presents an interesting dichotomy when it comes to wholly understanding the lives of Hangzhou’s Chinese. On the plus side, most (English-speaking) Chinese I’ve had conversations with are greatly interested in learning about America, this has led to many dinner invitations, an occasional pick-up basketball game and my regular Thursday evening Big Bang English Club. On the flip side, I am an American, which means I’m treated like a celebrity so the belief that Chinese are the friendliest people on the planet is obviously skewed.

Also I didn’t inherit my father’s aggressive curiosity, so I have a long way to go before I am a professional asker-of-questions. While I could obviously learn more if I was more outgoing, my passivity has taken me to some very interesting topics. (Who knew wearing long johns could be such a generational controversy?) A regular at Thursday’s English club, Alan (that’s his English name), has an unparalleled (among the Chinese I’ve met) interest in politics and we’ve ended up debating obscure topics on multiple occasions. While Chinese have a decent recognition of the relationship between money and politics I’ve heard some borderline hilarious assessments of the Fed—the most common being a secret cabal puppeteering Obama and Clinton (though not Bush). This last Thursday we discussed the Free Masons—who I know very little about—except that they don’t control U.S. politics.

Even as my interactions with Chinese continue to add up I find there is more and more I don’t know. Fittingly it has become harder to summarize (or stereotype) Chinese as more and more paradoxes or outliers arise. For instance the topic of homosexuality has been brought up and calming discussed on multiple occasions (who in the US would voluntarily discuss homosexuality in a hostile environment?), yet Chinese society largely retains traditional conservative beliefs on sexuality and virginity. (When I say ‘calmly discussed’ I mean almost yelling—the density of the city means most Chinese never learned to use their ‘inside voices’ when in groups more than five. They can be very loud.) 

The homosexuality topic though might also have something to do with being an American. I’m a magnet for repeated relationship and sex questions. Average American dudes are hit on by Chinese women as though we look like Ryan Reynolds or something. (He’s the most recent attractive dude, right?) It is an ego boost for sure, returning to the States will deflate us back to boring bachelorhood.

I wish we had home-stays while we were here. Back in early October I was lucky enough to spend one night at a Chinese friend’s family home in the countryside. Then again, I saw the physical house and watched the familial interactions but without understanding Chinese I left wanting to know more. Language, though is the critical element to understanding any social environment, hence my attraction to the English clubs.

While my Mandarin skills have progressed at an amazing rate, we’ve still only scratched the surface and I’m years away from conversational or discussing beliefs and values. Even if I had the technical proficiency there is an unspoken cultural language which I may never gain. I notice it even between Valpo and Eugene. When I catch up with high school friends we often exchange fewer words, yet they are loaded with ideas and meaning which simply translate with even my closest of Valpo friends. I wonder if I developed a cultural telepathy in Eugene—for eighteen years.

With a month left in my study abroad I’ve become more uncertain about who the Chinese are—but that’s only because I realize how expansive their lives, traditions, jobs, and relationships are. Maybe study abroad isn’t about gaining knowledge, but instead being humbled by the expansive unexplored cosmos of humanity.