So I’m sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by my familiar house. Out back is a patio I saw for the first time last night, even though it was put in 8 months ago. I saw my best friend and hung out with her all night, I talked to my brothers (like, real conversations… it was strange, I’ve clearly been away too long), I drove a car on the right side of the road and didn’t freak out (too much, it was weird), I’ve slept and showered and eaten in the house that was my home before this. Everything feels so familiar, almost like I never left. But at the same time, it feels like I’ve been gone for ages. Things are the same yet different, people are familiar yet strange, and I’m just slightly not what I was when I left this place 9 months ago. There are people to see, stories to tell, and fun to be had, but for the moment, I’m just sitting here, staring out the window, and contemplating the enormous thing that’s happened to me since I last sat here and saw this view.
Going to Cambridge was a literal dream come true. That phrase gets tossed around a lot, but for me, it really was. I’m not really a future-oriented person, I never had a ‘dream job’ growing up, I never even knew where I wanted to go to college until I was forced to figure it out. But going to England was always there, in the back of my mind, lurking there like a kind of dark horse dream that swiftly overtook my imagination once I went to Valpo and saw that I could actually do it. I applied as quickly as I could, for the soonest semester I could, and did everything I could think of to get there. I don’t regret speeding through that process, and doing this as soon as I did, but I am sad that it’s over now. I have many great things left to do in my life, but that was one of them and now it’s over.
What do you do when a dream has been realized? It’s not that it left, my desire to go to England didn’t magically vanish after I’d been. It’s just that I’ve done it. There’s less mystery in that dream now, there’s less adventure in the prospect of achieving it. But I’m starting to realize that accomplishing a dream doesn’t mean that it has to be over and done with. More dreams come in and replace that burning desire to do that which you’ve already done, but that first one doesn’t really go away. I’ll go back to England as frequently as I possibly can in the future, that much I do know.
I wanted to thank everyone who’s taken the trouble to read all of these, all of my stories and experiences and long-winded descriptions of things I find fascinating. It’s been a long and short 9 months, but it really is true–I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Thanks again.
Bryn