Upon my arrival in Paris, (for the first, second, and third time), once of the first things I noticed was how incredibly well-dressed its natives were. Even the children were dressed to the nines, decked out head-to-toe in designer duds. Needless to say, my dirty canvas Keds were suddenly lookin’ insufficient.

Having lived among Parisiens for the past three months, I can honestly say that my first impressions were spot on; I’m here to tell you that they look this good all the time. Bravo, sexy librarians on the metro and svelte looking hipsters in scarves and red pants smoking nonchalantly while taking out the trash.

However, if you, like me, don’t happen to belong to either one of these categories, fear not! I’m here with five tips for lookin’ French or at least blending in.

1) Red pants. An absolute must. (If you want to be fashionable, that is)

2) Wear glasses, even if you don’t need them. In fact, especially if you don’t need them.

3) If you are a woman, carry a Longchamps bag. If you are a man, carry a man-purse.

4) Wear a trench coat!

( hound dog and magnifying glass,  optional) 

5) Ride a scooter! Be you child, teenager, or married mother of three. Wee!

 

Alas, have I followed any of the above advice? Well no. I am still wearing my dirty Keds and I may or may not have went to Vogue’s fashion Night Out wearing a Levi’s jean jacket. Do I ride a child’s scooter to work or to the market? Ya know, it’s really not practical. Plus, I can barely ride a bike, so why complicate things?

It’s possible that by not following the French fashion code, I may appear to be slacking in the cultural assimilation and understanding department. But that may be too hasty of a judgement. If I’m reading French newspapers, eating French food, and talking to French people, does that not demonstrate appreciation for the French way of life, regardless of whether or not I look good in red pants?