Author: Emily Nelson

Location: Hirakata, Osaka, Japan

I write this sitting in my dorm enveloped in tinges of sadness. One of my childhood friends just lost their grandmother, who happens to be one of my grandmother’s closest friends. I grew up with this mutual friend sending me cards, taking us girls out together to fun places, and overall creating great memories. She always carried herself with a smile, even as ALS took over.

I live now knowing that while time is not infinite, you can, to some extent, control what happens to you. Some of us more than others, but there are choices in every day that eventually weave together to compose the threads of who we truly are. Occasionally there are people who add some beautiful colors into this fabric. I like to think that once they’ve left their mark, you can notice the changes they’ve made in those who remember them.

Time goes on when you’re abroad-while you’re busy cultivating yourself and building new relationships, others may break down. Whether through busyness, death, or simply not having much left in common, it can be demoralizing when the relationships you thought were secure just don’t seem so anymore. Isolation is a prevalent feeling while abroad, usually manifesting in some form of culture shock. By all means, take time for yourself, but also take time to show the important people in your life that you still care about them during this trip.

I think studying abroad helps you find your center. We talk a lot about how we “like learning about other cultures”. In reality, this is a very complex thing, but I think it can be simplified to a few ideas. Going away forces you to expand beyond yourself, whether it’s accepting that new ideas exist, different beliefs are present, etc. It also forces you to hang on to what you find most important-your values, the things that anchor you. Studying abroad can add to your values and reinforce your previous ones, and I think that’s why people come back so fundamentally changed. While you’re gone, people changed back home too. While reconciling with the differences can be jarring, I can assure you that the experience will help you appreciate your colors, and that this is always worthwhile.

I wrote the above a few weeks ago, and now that I’ve returned home, I have more to add. There truly isn’t enough time in the world to spend with those you value. I wish I could say that I left Japan with no regrets, but as many will tell you, this simply isn’t possible. My final week was filled with so many activities, from goodbyes to last hurrahs to simply reveling in post-finals happiness. There were so many invites that I could have been triple booked the last week. Now I know I should definitely be more proactive when it comes to leaving, but I also take this with the understanding that we’re never the people we need to be until we come out of it.

Traveling to my aunt’s place one final time via the Shinkansen