Only a mere week ago, I was headed to live with Namibian couple Sam and Trudy Geiseb, Katatura, a township of Windhoek. I am not usually one who gets nervous over social situations and looking back on my first home stay experience in Soweto, South Africa, I was not nervous at all. But the entire day before I was going to meet my new “family” for the week I couldn’t shake the butterfly feeling from my stomach. I could not help but think of the amazing time I had with my host grandma, Machanza, in South Africa, and pray that I had a similar experience. I was worried that I was not going to get along with these new host parents as well or that I would not be able to have such a relaxed relationship as I did with Machanza. However, in any situation it is not fair to go in with a preconceived notion as to how the experience will play out. And as fate would have it, the experience turned out to be like nothing I could have imagined.
I was picked up on Monday evening by my host father, Sam, and as far as first impressions go, he seemed like a very nice man. We had good small talk in the car while we headed to his house (soon to be my home also for the next week) to pick up his son Dantago. We then continued to pick up my host mother Trudy from work and then headed home for the night. What seemed like a very simple task of picking people up, was actually more stressful then you would think, mostly because there was a screaming one and half year old in the car. However, I think that is the best word that can describe my overall week with the Geiseb family, stressful. There were a few moments that were really great throughout my time with them, but for the most part I was really happy to return to the CGE house on Sunday evening. There are a few things that stick out in my mind for the week, some good and some bad. I’ll start with the bad news and end with the good!
The most stressful thing for me had to be the fact that I felt like I constantly did not fit in. Now at this point in my trip it should not surprise me, because I have once again adapted to being the minority in a country. Nevertheless, it became more than feeling like the odd man out for me this past week. I strived throughout this experience to really understand the people that I was living with along with their culture, and in return I felt that there was no interest about what made me tick as a person. There were multiple times during my experience, where I felt like a burden to my family. For instance, most nights they would not realize until it was late into the evening around eight or nine pm that they needed to feed me dinner. Every time we sat down together, I asked so many questions so that I could begin to comprehend where they fit within the constructs of Namibia. They would politely answer my questions, but never ask where I stood on the issues that I brought up. I think the most difficult time of my stay was on Saturday. I was left alone in the house without any word of when the family would return. Even though I had been staying in their home for almost 6 days, I felt like a complete stranger. Later in the day when Trudy finally arrived home, I once again became pseudo babysitter to my host brother. (The babysitting had been going on all week and only got worse over the weekend.) At around four o’clock Sam, Dantago, and myself headed to a family party. When I arrived, all eyes were on me, and not in the good way. I could feel the heat of everyone’s stares, but being optimistic I kept a smile on my face thinking that when they got to meet me it wouldn’t be as awkward. But they never even came over to ask my name, they all just whispered and stared at me; for the entire evening. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I have ever had. And to add to the “fun” of the evening, I not only babysat my host brother but a whole slew of other children, and I was not fed because I was allergic to all the food they had. The entire day was stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting and that night was the first time I felt a sense of homesickness. Despite all of those feelings, there is a light the end of the tunnel.