As the semester is ending and the seasons are changing, I constantly feel like my emotions are changing as drastically as the weather. In one sense, I am in the most historically and culturally rich center of the world, and on the other, I am as far from my family and everything I love most. I know that I am not the only one that has been feeling this way within my group, so either the snow brings about a blanket of homesicknessness or it is just that final stretch to push through.

Finding enjoyment in the small things

Probably the most difficult part about this last 11 day break we just had was that it was over Thanksgiving. My family isn’t even a big celebrant of this national holiday, but I found myself missing turkey (which I don’t even like), stuffing, and my grandma’s pumpkin pie. I kept trying to shake off this whole idea of homesickness being the world traveler that I know am – I need to learn to control these emotions. However, there is no easy button on this one. So rather than dwell on about all of the delicious delicacies (repetition purposeful) and wish for home, I have to just accept the fact that home will be waiting for me after my European adventures. After all, I have some time to go.

If I was starting a countdown, I would have three weeks and one day left on this continent. I cannot imagine missing out on any upcoming opportunity because of a sour attitude, so this was the last of it. The last surge of homesickness is leaving with this blog post. Instead I will plan for three more countries: Austria, Portugal, and Spain. While everyone else in my group leaves for the good old USA on December 14^th, I will be staying a week longer with my boyfriend to go gallivanting across the west coast, and I couldn’t be more excited.

In that one extra week, we are traveling to Faro, Lisbon, Seville, Madrid, Segovia, and Barcelona… so there is a lot of planning to be done! Energy devoted to homesickness before is now being transformed to energy of enjoyment. There would have been too many experiences I would have missed out on if I did this before, and it makes no sense to start now. So Vive l’Europe! I took French in high school, so it will have to do.

There have not been many challenging activities that I have had to overcome while studying abroad in Germany; I was only really expecting some home sickness and difficulties with relations, but this past week I have pushed my comfort zone to the limit… and then broke right through it. In Budapest, Hungary, we all had the opportunity to go spelunking in one of the caves outside of town. Although I knew this would freak out my senses and challenge my abilities, both mental and physical, I knew I had to take this task on.

Sixteen of us decided to go through these caves with a tour guide. We were split up into two equal groups, and I got to follow Lazlo the cave guide. Right away he told us we were a sporty and “thin” looking group, so we would be going through some of the harder parts of the cave that tourists are allowed in. Consistently he would take us the harder, tighter, and longer ways so we could get the most out of our experience. After 1300 meters of physical work, we all agreed we couldn’t have asked for more.

There were these sections in the cave that you literally had to lie down and army crawl your way through. I have the bruises and scratches on my elbows and knees to prove it. These were all fairly difficult, but my biggest fear was to be wedged in from all sides by the cave. To feel it on each side and then on your stomach and back was not a pleasant image nor a calming one. And just when I thought I was through the worst, there came the Worm.

Me and Matt squeezing through the cave.

The Worm, as they call it, is only a few meters long, but it requires maneuvering one’s body in an angle and contorting limbs to avoid rocks. So much physical energy is needed to make it through in a timely manner ( even though Lazlo slid right through like it was nothing). After making it out, I was so pleased with myself and thankful to be succeeding in something I never deemed possible. The Worm was one of the hardest sections in the cave, and I knew know I could overcome any territory Lazlo would make me enter.

And so he challenged us more. There was a vertical climb we had to make on our sides that was as tightly squished as an overbearing aunt’s embrace. You had to keep your left arm underneath you and push with your right foot. Apparently that is where all your power comes from, but my power, along with others, was also apparently lacking. Almost every single one of us got stuck in this section, but upon escaping this tormenting squeeze, I felt so accomplished. I was laughing when I could hear Jimmy getting his shoulders stuck behind me.

No matter what you think your physical limitations are, there really aren’t any at all. We all are capable of doing the most challenging things if we really try and put our mind to the task. By the end of our 2 and 1/2 hour caving tour, we were all sweating but smiling so broadly. It sounds completely cliche, but this experience proved to myself that I can be unstoppable, but only if I want to be. So I challenge anyone reading to find something that they would not normally do, just to see if it’s possible. With a positive attitude and the support of loving friends, I have no doubt that it will be.

The group of us at the end

An excerpt in the book, “Eat, Pray, Love” spoke to me as it perfectly articulated the feelings one experiences while traveling abroad:

“The great Sufi poet and philosopher, Rumi, once advised his students to write down the three things they wanted most in life.  If any item on the list clashes with any other item, Rumi warned, you are destined for unhappiness.  Better to live a life of single-pointed focus, he taught.  But what about the benefits of living harmoniously amid extremes?  What if you could somehow create an expansive enough life that you could synchronize seemingly incongruous opposites into a worldview that excludes nothing?  […] I wanted to experience both.  I wanted worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence–the dual glories of a human life.”

I couldn’t agree with Elizabeth Gilbert more.  Her ability to articulate such a harmonious desire was something I have been trying to articulate all along.  It seems as though I have experienced everything from Paris’ indulgences, to Rome’s spirituality, to Budapest’s musicality.  All of these extremely diverse countries have offered me something so unique.  Reflecting on that very passage, I have been blessed with that very gift over the course of the past few months: worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence.

As for Hungary, my skepticism about traveling on an eleven-hour night train to an eastern European country for five days was present on my mind for several days leading up to the trip.  As Hungary greeted me with a cold and rainy day, my perception of the country was at its best, different.  It wasn’t until the following days that I approached Budapest with a more open and forgiving mind.  Learning about their communist past and there ever improving future reminded me of a similar lesson I had learned in Berlin: one can never forget a past, whether pleasant or not, that ultimately led to a successful future.

Hungary’s Most Famous Opera House

After warming up to the diverse Hungary, I was eager to appreciate more that was unique to their culture.  So, last night we went to a Hungarian Opera.  This Opera house was the most beautiful venue I have ever seen–its elegance begged me to imagine myself attending this place in the early years, adorned in a beautiful gown and tight curls.  Although the latter description wasn’t true, we had an absolutely lovely evening.  The Italian opera, Rigoletto, portrays the flirtatious, seductive nature of love and the curses between men because of such love.  Despite our inability to understand the opera (as it was sung in Italian and the subtitles were in Hungarian), it was a phenomenal night I will never forget.

Hungary’s Most Famous Opera House

Go on a trip alone? Doesn’t that seem kind of boring? Well, sometimes traveling by yourself allows for opportunities and flexibility that you normally would not have while traveling with friends.

This past weekend, I had no concrete plans, and many of my friends decided to go to Austria. To be quite honest, at times I can be introverted, and I like time to myself. On a whim, I decided that I wanted to visit Berchtesgaden, which is on the extreme southern tip of Germany, in the Alps! I don’t know how familiar you are with history, but it’s a really small mountain town, and it is where Hitler had his “Eagle’s Nest”, which was basically a beautiful summer home on top of a mountain with an amazing view of the Alps. The guy knew a good getaway.

My plan was to visit the Eagle’s Nest, but I found that it was closed for the winter. However, I am not easily deterred and decided not to let that stop me! I love hiking and mountain climbing, especially alone and with my family, so I decided to hike up to the top. I was told that the only way to get up is by driving to a certain point, then taking a gold-plated elevator. Right.

I did a lot of scouting out the area on Saturday, and found that there really are no trails to the top. Most of it is private property, but I snuck around anyways. The view was incredible! Couple that with a sun and temperatures in the mid 60s, and you have a perfect weekend.

Even though I love to write, sometimes I just cannot come up with enough adjectives to describe what I’ve seen.  Take a look at these photos, and you can see what I mean!

Because I was alone and could really dive into my passion for hiking, I dedicated the weekend to it and hiked 12 or 13 miles. Although, traveling alone opens up opportunites that I never would have imagined!

Since I was traveling alone, on Saturday night I decided to find a restaurant for a quick bite, then off to bed early for another day of hiking. I found this place that seemed cozy, so I went in. It was kind of crowded, so the waitress pointed me to this large table, with a couple at one end of it. It is not uncommon for strangers to sit at the same big tables in old-style restaurants in Bavaria, but often the two parties would simply exchange formalities and not converse. This time it was much different.

I ordered some food and a beer, and the couple started talking with me. Soon, we were talking about economics, soccer, and the hotel that they own in Austria. Soon enough, a whole bunch of their friends came by the table and sat down, all in their late 50s or early 60s. They were extremely friendly and we talked, half in German and English about anything and everything.

It turns out that I was at a special table, called “Stammtisch”. Basically, it’s reserved every night for a certain group of people, and it is quite an honor to sit at that table. Essentially, only the respected people of Berchtesgaden sit there. But here I was, and they were kind of having the “good old boys” routine going, and it was super fun! Then, the waiter slid a shot over to me, and one of them nodded his head to me. They taught me that it was a tradition in the town to drink a shot of this particular vodka after every meal. They ended up buying me more food and drinks. And I found out that Hitler would sometimes come to the place years ago. What a night!

So if you have thought about traveling alone, give it a try. It is not nearly as scary as you may think, and it gives you the flexibility and opportunity that you never could have imagined!

Maya Angelou once said, “Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.”

This quote really resonates with me.  While I haven’t necessarily made any lasting friendships with those of other countries, the traveling, keen observation, and friendly small-talk that has taken place has been sufficient enough to demonstrate that we truly are all innately the same.

On the train to Venice, I was sitting across from a mother who was with her one-year-old child.

View of Italy from train

I remember not being able to take my eyes off of that precious being, as any smile she made inevitably became one that light up my face, too.  How can one not smile at a smiling baby?  However, the affection, love, and gracious attention that the mother gave her child was what touched me the most.  For, it was apparent to me that a mother’s love is the same regardless of geographical location.  While the outward demeanor of an Italian woman is different from that of an American’s, the inward sensitivities that exist are ultimately the same.  Both women have the same profound, immeasurable, and unmatched love for their children.  Although this may seem like an obvious observation, it was a heart-warming moment for me, as I am starting to miss that very same love.  Although suddenly, that specific love wasn’t so absent anymore.

Dinner in Tubingen

Dinner in Tubingen

Another observance of a similar love has been one that is romantic in nature.  It seems that in every city I’ve visited, there is love expressed between couples quite outwardly.  Whether it’s straddling the loved one or french kissing for minutes on end in a popular park, their expression of love toward one another lacks shame and modesty.  While that kind of overt public display of affection is generally unacceptable in America, there is something boldlyinspiring about the sight of those young, passionate lovers caressing one another.  I do not mean to say that those are appropriate gestures for my life (because they’re not), but their affectionate audacity is ultimately a lovely proclamation of their love. Although the love I share with my loved one is more private in nature, it’s fulfilling to see that same inner passion existing in all the world.

Though the differences between my life in American and my life in Germany are endless, one thing has remained beautifully stable: we are all blessed with the same sensitivities, whether it is between a mother and her child or two lovers.

I did say I would write more about fall break, and now since I feel like I have finally had some time to relax, this is the perfect time. My break was planned in a way to basically encircle Germany to hit all of the destinations too far away for just a weekend trip. Most of this excursion was spent with my boyfriend, my roommate, and my boyfriend’s roommate. Four people on an experience of a lifetime.

I can honestly say that Istanbul was the most worthwhile destination; however, I wrote about that before and will not bore anyone with further details… just go there are see it for yourself! Rather than take time for that, I just wanted to write about my overall impressions about each destination: this will give a general feel for the area and also allow me to relive my travels.

After Istanbul, Matt, Brenna, and I went to Athens and Mykonos in Greece. Athens was a short trip, with more time devoted to the picturesque qualities of the Greek island. The weather was perfect while we were there adding to the overall allure to the city. Matt and I rented ATVs and drove around the entire island going beach hopping to wherever the map looked interesting. The time in Mykonos was pure relaxation and resort-like satisfaction. When we went back to Athens a few days later, we had to hit up the entire city in a short morning. Walking around at a decent pace to make sure we hit all of the monuments got to be tiring, but we ended up seeing everything we wanted to in a few hours.

Matt and I in front of the Temple of Hephasius, Athens

And let me tell you, I was geeking out to the max. Being a history major, I was enthralled to see all of the ruins left around Athens. The Acropolis was definitely jaw dropping, but I appreciated the Temple of Hephasius even more. This temple is the oldest remaining building of its kind, and it is still in such pristine condition. To stand in front of such perfect history like that gave me the chills and a look onto the world that is ever changing. No matter how little of importance you think something may be, in a thousand years people could be standing looking at our newest building thinking it was the most perfect historic monument. Freaky cool.

After our historic adventures in Greece, we traveled quickly to Rome. I have previously been to Rome in the past, and this visit was a quick review to what I have already seen. Unfortunately I didn’t get to the catacombs like I had planned, but I revisited the Vatican museum and took in the glory of the Sistine Chapel once more. This masterpiece does not need any words but only full dedication. It is a truly magnificent piece of art that has a lot of hidden jokes throughout. Props to Michelangelo.

Matt and I in front of an Amsterdam Canal

The north was next. Amsterdam was a beautiful city with water everywhere you looked. Besides some untimely rain, all of the experiences here were worthwhile. We were able to see the Van Gogh Museum, which is not worth the money but nice nonetheless. I again geeked out at the Anne Frank House, but we didn’t have time to go inside. This city is so great to walk around in though because you can get so completely lost without feeling you are doomed. The city looks too inviting to present any real danger. Just watch your purses in the red light district!

Copenhagen and Stockholm were both beautiful cities. We didn’t find too many touristic sites in either city, so we just spent most of our time walking around and thinking about the Dominoes we were going to order in Copenhagen. Copenhagen also has a part of the city called Christiana, which is a self governed section and gave me the extreme heeby-jeebies. Never going back there again. Stockholm was by far the coldest weather we encountered. The sun also set at about 3:30pm there, which did not do well for my freezing toes or my desire to actually see the city. Overall, this trip helped me grow in ways I didn’t imagine and take in sites I had only seen in my history text books. A well planned and well executed way to spend 17 days.

With a little over a month remaining, I can’t help but to begin reflecting on what impact the past three months have left on my life.

The importance of being in touch with oneself has never been more evident.  Being thousands of miles away from everything familiar, including people, language, cuisine, and culture, inevitably leaves one with a plethora of emotions.  And at times, seemingly contradictory ones.  It is at these times it becomes increasingly important to examine yourself both objectively and unbiasedly.  For some, this may mean ten minutes of a sort of mental regrouping, and for others, a few hours.  Regardless of which category you fall under, it is important that such emotional conflict is both expected, and pleasantly dealt with.  For, from strife results perseverance.

Those very moments are the ones that stand out to me the most: those moments of profound realization about the beautiful creation existing around me, and my place and view within it all.  A few such realizations for me are as follows:

Just a few days before departing for France, heightened strike alerts began saturating the news.  With my mom and sister forty-eight hours away from departing Chicago, I remember having a profound spirit of condemnation toward France, for if their juvenile manifestations resulted in my sister and mom not making it to Paris, I would be quite bitter, to say the least.  However, I realized that I hadn’t even taken the time to understand what was

First time seeing the Eiffel Tower

causing the French manifestations .  After realizing that the French government wanted to raise the retirement age from sixty to sixty-two, I had little sympathy for them, seeing as the retirement age in America is much higher than that.  However, in all of this mess, it was clear to me that all things in this world are relative.  While to us, the retirement age of sixty-two is substantially low, to them, that is two more years of a lifestyle they neither expected nor value as much as Americans.  One cannot place judgment on a culture they are not a part of, and instead should realize that all of life’s circumstances are just that: circumstantial.  It is my challenge to you to seek understanding when you find yourself in a frustrating situation, for a discerning heart is most always answered.

On a more personal note, I experienced a deep understanding and admiration for Catholicism.  While I myself am not Catholic, being immersed in Rome’s deep Catholic history was enlightening.  As I mentioned in my blog about Rome, it is undeniable the devout nature the Catholics have historically shown throughout time.  Going beyond my genuine acceptance of the Catholic religion, is my acceptance for all inhabitants of this earth, religious or atheist, Italian or American.  For, judgement, whether it is toward a specific culture, religion, or origin, should not hold a place in our hearts.

In front of St. Peter’s basilica

Our purpose on this earth is not to inflict more animosity, but to calm it.  The calming of such animosity begins with oneself.  It’s obvious, then, that Mahatma Gandhi has had it right all along: “be the change you want to see in the world.”

In both of these examples of some of the realizations I have experienced, the concept of knowledge is at hand.  For, both situations required a sort of understanding that I didn’t have prior to experiencing them.  I have always considered myself a lover of academics, an individual who enjoys studying, succeeding, and admittedly, over-achieving, but, up until this point, I hadn’t sought much knowledge outside of my academic studies.  I immersed myself in whatever subjects I was taking that semester, and any free time I had was spent taking a break from all of the knowledge I was busy learning during the week.  However, since these experiences, I have found myself researching politics and theology during my free time.  It is my hope that these learned lessons will be applied not only for the remainder of the trip, but upon my return to normalcy in America.

Always growing together (Innsbruck, Austria)

I leave you with the challenge to possess both a discerning and accepting heart.  You’ll be surprised how it transcends into all other areas of your life.